Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Integrated in the process of ‘living our life’ and our day to day schooling in the ways of finding love and trust in a relationship, is the painful cry of “How do I let go? How can I possibly move on!”
Whether it’s from an unexpected lie or betrayals from someone close — we have felt the immediate and physical hardening of the heart following an emotional blow. A blow so hard it physically knocks the wind out of us, leaving us wounded and bewildered.
“But how can I forget? How can I move on and be happy?” she sobs.
The answer to this is not an easy process. It takes more courage to confront it than to move comfortably back into the victim seat. You were the person who received the hurt, right? And you deserve to get some recognition for that pain, right?
I’m afraid not. The only way to mentally, physically and emotionally move on is to change the way your mind remembers the situation, and to take responsibility for gaining the understanding of your role in the outcome. Be honest with yourself and admit what it was that you were truly hoping for in return. You have to stop running and re-running the incident, the words, the looks, the hurt, over in your mind. By reliving the situation time and time again, you are actually freezing that moment in time, not releasing it.
As emotional human nature seems to state: ‘You are my friend/love partner therefore you are a mirror for me. When I see myself giving to you I see the reflection giving back the same to me. It makes me feel love and a lightness in the heart.’ It is a feeling so fast and so powerful it is forever imprinted on our brain. We then feel compelled and driven to seek that feeling again. By putting up the mirror, we are subconsciously seeing our own heart therefore we are truly only giving out what we want and think we need to get back. You also have a picture in your mind exactly what that would feel like, and look like.
So then the long awaited reaction to what we have so selflessly given does come back to us but not the way our conscious mind has now perfectly formed it. And we physically feel the loss of that expected love, appreciation or gratitude and it makes us feel empty and alone.
The hardest thing about love, that totally misunderstood (or totally not understandable at all) concept of ‘unconditional love!’ is that we are supposed to give the other person what they need, do for them the things they want, in their way, not in our way.
Take a moment to calm your mind in the quiet, and just think about it for a while. I’m sure you can start to see some things differently, to release the other person, to heal yourself and therefore… LET GO.
