Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
The slayer
Dracula was on a night out with his buddies and after much intoxication decided to call it a night.
On his walk home he took a few back streets to shortcut. Upon walking down one such dark alley he was hit in the back of the head by a sausage roll but after looking around could not see whom the culprit was. Once again, in the next dimly lit passage he felt a chicken wrap splat across his back, thrown from behind, but again the perpetrator had hidden.
Finally as Dracula got to his castle gates, he felt a tap on the shoulder... he turned round to a dark figure wielding a sausage on a cocktail stick. No sooner had Dracula spoken than the dark figure plunged the stick into his heart.
Falling to the floor, Dracula uttered his last words: “Who are you?” To which the dark stranger announced... “I am Buffet the Vampire Slayer”!
The cemetery
A small one-seater plane crashed into a cemetery. Police have recovered 102 bodies so far and will continue to dig throughout the night.
Charlie boy
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender asks, “Olive or Twist?”
Origins of man
“Dad, where did I come from?” asks this 10-year-old. The father was shocked that a 10-year-old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before he would have to explain the facts of life, but he figured it was better a few years early than a few days too late, so, for the next two hours he explained every thing to his son.
When he got finished, he asked his son what prompted his question to which his son replied: “I was talking to the new kid across the street and he said he came from Ohio, so I was just wondering where I came from.”
One way blues
After gunning his BMW the wrong way down a one-way street, the rather intoxicated young man was asked where he thought he was going by a curious police officer.
“I’m not really sure,” confessed the drunk, “but wherever it is, I must be late, because everybody seems to be coming back already.”
