Ask Betsy

Dear Betsy,
I have a problem with my girlfriend. She works in the evenings after school sometimes and so I spend time with a group of my friends, which includes her sister, who was my friend before my girlfriend.

Now my girlfriend is jealous that I spend time with her sister when she can’t be there but I told her there is nothing wrong with that as we are all friends and I can’t stay at home all the time.  She is mad at me, what should I do?
Benny

Dear Benny,
As a woman I can see her point … but on the other hand I can see yours too. Basically, she has to trust you, and her sister, and if there is no trust then there will be no happy relationship. 
If you are all still at school then you really are too young for a serious relationship anyway as your school work has to be your priority. 
These sort of situations are all a part of growing up and learning about life and human nature. Spending lots of time with your girlfriend’s sister is just asking for trouble. Wanting to have your cake and eating it is also part of human nature but someone can end up getting hurt. Stick to your male friends when your girlfriend isn’t around to avoid hassles, unless you are secretly flattered and enjoying all this attention!

Dear Betsy,
What can I do to get my mother-in-law to stop criticising everything I do? She is living with us for the next three months and after only two weeks I am going mad.
Simple tasks like hanging up the towels in the bathroom, how I speak to my maid, or store things in the fridge – none of them is to her liking. She does it to my husband too like he is still a little boy and he just takes it but I am going to lose my temper soon. What can I do with her to make her stop?
Anitra

Dear Anitra,
I do sympathise and I am sure it is very difficult to take all this criticism in your own home. I am sure she does not realise how harsh she is being.
She may even think she is helping you by sharing her expertise. Are you perhaps being super sensitive? If she is also doing it to your husband then it means she is not specifically targeting you so don’t take it personally. Try to keep her busy and ask her to help you with certain things, like supervising your maid, for instance. This will help her feel valued and keep her occupied.
You could also try being totally honest with her and explain that while you appreciate her opinions, you like to do things your way in your own home. Sounds to me like your husband is used to her being like this and he realises, as you should too, that she is only here for another few weeks. Be kind and patient with her and you will earn extra brownie points with your husband and feel good about how you handled a difficult situation. Keep smiling!

Dear Betsy,
A neighbour of mine keeps leaving full litter bags outside my gate instead of in the communal buckets a bit further down the street. It smells bad and all the stray cats come and attack it and make a mess. I have spoken to him about it once and he stopped for a day or two but now it’s happening again and with the hot weather it will be worse. How should I handle this?
Sharif

Dear Sharif,
There is an easy solution. Relocate the communal bucket to just outside his gate and then he has no reason to dump his garbage anywhere else. Such breathtaking laziness should be rewarded don’t you think?