Krazy Kevin's Kids Klub

Have you ever heard the Noel Coward song called ‘Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun’?

Well, last week it was a ‘Mad Scotsman’ and a ‘Krazy Englishman’ (me) who went out in the midday sun!
Now everyone probably knows that I rather enjoy a good game of golf every so often. And, at the end of August Riffa Golf Club will be closing down for major refurbishment (See Sports pages).
Well, the point of all this is, as my favourite golfing venue is about to close I’m desperately trying to get in as many games as I can (I feel a bit like a camel having a last drink before setting off on a long trek through the desert, wondering how long it will be till I get another).
So anyway, I organised a last game of golf (thanks wee Phil Jones) for my mate Carl and me. (I call Carl ‘Count Dracula’ ’cos he only goes out at night!) 
The hard part was making sure that Carl was awake and ready to go. We rocked up at 11am and I did just as my wife Wendy always tells me to do when I’m outside at the mercy of the sun; I ‘Slipped, Slopped, Slapped’.  Which if you read my last week’s article you’ll know is Australian for slipping on a T-shirt, slopping on some sunscreen and slapping on a hat.
But we also did one better and we also ‘sloshed’ water into ourselves in a desperate, and largely futile, attempt to not completely dehydrate.
When we were ready to attack the course, I asked Steve Munro (aka the ‘Bald Eagle’) “how many people are on the course”?  He replied that “let’s just say you won’t be rushed”.  We teed off on the first and then started off on our great hot, sweaty adventure, soon realising that we were pretty much alone out there.
It wasn’t so much the sun beating down on us, as the high humidity that completely and utterly sapped our energy. By the time we reached the sixth hole we were dragging our feet and felt exhausted. We drank water by the litre and Carl, who smokes quite a bit, could only have three cigarettes due to the sheer effort of inhaling.
When we got to the ninth hole we looked at the oasis in front of us (the clubhouse) at the same time we both said “let’s only do nine holes”. We simply couldn’t face another nine. We got into the clubhouse and Carl ordered a lurvely mixed drink of apple juice, lemonade and ice. It was the best drink I’ve ever had.
After this experience of the midday heat, all I can say is ‘well done’ to the powers that be, who called a stop to labourers working outside between the hours of noon and 4pm during summer months. I mean, we were just walking around and knocking a golf ball about and we were absolutely shattered. The labourers on top of buildings, digging roads and working without any shade outside have all got my complete respect.
What else has happened this week?  Well it was my birthday on Wednesday and I’m in denial (what happened to my present ’eh, editor?) [See Editor’s note].
I don’t feel as though I’ve even grown up and yet I’m due to have a mid-life crisis or something.  For such a big birthday it was a bit of a non event … Sure, Wendy bought me some great shirts and I was given so much chocolate cake I nearly exploded but you see the plan was to celebrate it far away, lazing on a beach and having a holiday. 
Pity my residence visa is taking months to process and as we had not received our passports back we couldn’t go anywhere … Sigh! That’s life I guess?
To look on the bright side I would have missed all my well-wishers at the radio if we had gone away. 
But instead of watching the sun set go over the water and splashing in the sea, we went to see the latest Harry Potter movie.  It was great fun and then the next day I celebrated at a party given by the “infamous” Wales’ Dena and David who’s birthdays where on the 23rd and the 24th - a brilliant night and thanks David for showing me your grandad’s Queens Park football medal.
Live long and be happy
Krazy Kevin