Manspeak

Having translated practically everything a woman says for men to understand, I figure it’s time to do the same for you women out there. Much as men like to complain that we women never say what we mean, men can be just vague and confusing with the things they say and do. Here’s a little light-hearted but true look at what’s really going on in their very uncomplicated brains.

‘You know how bad my memory is’

The simplest translation to this is “I remember the theme tune to ‘Happy Days’, the number plate of every car I’ve ever owned, the phone number of the first girl I ever kissed and how many goals have been scored in every match of every World Cup since I was eight years old … but I forgot your birthday”

There’s no need to get dramatic about it girls.

A simple hurt expression along with a dropped hint will send him into such convulsions of guilt that you will get a much bigger present then if he had remembered and he will be walking on egg-shells for days trying to be nice and make it up to you.