Lonely and sleepless in Hidd

Dear Betsy,I found those organic eggs you recommended. Thanks for that. My family have gone off and left me for the summer, so it was great to find a bit of that nursery comfort food to help my loneliness.

I find it difficult to get good quality sleep since they left so, Dear Betsy, what do you recommend to help me sleep?

Brian, Sleepless in Hidd.

Dear Brian,

Poor you, left 'home alone' while your family swan off to cooler climes for the summer. I know that for the first few days or even a couple of weeks you will probably be enjoying the freedom to do what you want, when you want, and eat, sleep and work to your own timetable.

Then the loneliness and raw reality of that self-inflicted solitude will kick in Brian and as in your case, it can affect your sleep patterns, ability to concentrate and focus.

As you know, I always urge readers to look for the positive in everything that happens to you in life ... it is always there, sometimes you just have to look carefully for it.

The first thing for you to remember is that your situation is only temporary, probably for a few weeks at most, but spare a thought for those expats who work here for years at a time without ever seeing their families.

Most of them will have forgotten the things many of us take for granted, such as the loving hug of a spouse or child, a simple family meal eaten in gratitude or the noisy, boisterous behaviour and ringing laughter of children in the house.

Count your blessings Brian and be grateful.

Disturbed sleep patterns can be regulated by getting into a routine. A few suggestions that may help you include eating your evening meal at around the same time each evening, and not too late, as this can interfere with your sleep patterns.

Let your body and brain get the message that you are in 'wind down' mode and run yourself a warm bath, add a cup of full fat milk and some lavender oil (from most good pharmacies).

Eating a handful of unsalted, peeled almonds can help you slip into slumberland as can a dinner of pasta and a milky drink such as good old cocoa. These foods and drinks help your body to go into hibernation mode.

Avoid cheese, chocolate, coffee, tea and green tea, as the latter three are high in caffeine and sure to wake you up in the middle of the night.

Make sure you have no Electro Magnetic Waves (EMW) in your bedroom, Brian. This means no televison, DVD player, electric alarm clock, mobile phone and/or it's charger etc.

These items all give off emissions that can interfere with much more than just your sleep patterns.

The temperature in your bedroom is important too. Too hot and you will perspire and toss and turn and too cold and your brain cannot lull your body into deep sleep mode.

Make sure your pillows are the right height/firmness as this can affect your ability to fully relax.

Make sure your bedroom is not flooded with light. Curtains and/or blinds that block out the morning sunshine are important.

Eating a balanced diet is important too. Many "summer husbands at home" like you suddenly find their nutrition takes a nose dive as they discover that their wives were actually quite good cooks after all.

Aim to eat three to five portions of fruit and vegetables a day plus two slices of whole grain bread, some potato, rice or pasta and a good helping of high quality protein such as lean meat, grilled or stir fried chicken, poached, grilled or steamed fish and three eggs a week, as a base for your diet.

Take regular exercise such as walking, tennis, squash, serious swimming, or circuit training in the gym.

Some of the supermarkets also have home-made ready meals for purchase, especially Jawads and Spinneys, so even if you can't cook, you can eat reasonably healthily.

Avoid the lure of home delivery fast food as this can upset your digestive system causing sleep problems and often these meals are full of nutritional baddies and your family might well return to a podgy daddy! An occasional meal in this category is fine.

Take this time to reflect on your life and why not use your spare time to good effect by doing some voluntary or charity work?

The feel good factor from helping others can help release those happy hormones and hey presto you might well find yourself embracing that coveted REM (rapid eye movement) sleep that is vital to our physical and emotional well being and it may even become addictive. The BSPCA are always happy for help as are other charities such as Helping Hands.

Sweet dreams ...

BETSY SAYS RELAX

Have a relaxing foot bath to help soothe those swollen summer feet.

Add a cup of Epsom salts or sea salt to a basin of warm water and three drops of Tea Tree oil and one of basil oil to help relax and refresh.

Soak for 10 to 15 minutes, dry thoroughly, especially between your toes, and massage in - or even better, have someone else massage in - some cooling foot lotion or aloe vera gel. Sheer bliss for tired tootsies.