Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Dear Betsy, AS US_President George W Bush battled Congress over the $700 billion rescue package for the US economy, I was fighting off the unwanted advances of a woman sitting next to me on the Virgin redeye from New York to London.
As with the conundrums faced by those above, nobody I've spoken to has arrived at a satisfactory solution for the best way to handle what happened.
After a three-hour delay at JFK, I had plopped myself into my window seat in premium economy when, at the last minute, an ordinary-looking British woman in her early 30s bustled on to the plane and claimed the neighbouring seat.
'Hi, I'm Louise. I thought I should say hello as we're spending the night together,' she joshed. I smiled weakly, closed my eyes and rested my head on the window.
The flight attendant offered Louise a glass of orange juice, water or champagne. 'Champagne please,' she replied chirpily. 'Actually, I'll take two of those. Thanks.'
The aircraft remained where it was, waiting for a take-off slot. After 20 minutes, still with my eyes closed, I sat up with a jolt when a hand reached my upper thigh and squeezed it twice. It was Louise. I turned to face her. 'Oh gosh, I'm sorry,' she smiled. 'I was drifting off and got muddled up and thought you were a friend of mine.'
Odd, but vaguely plausible, so I told her not to worry and closed my eyes again. Five minutes later, her hand squeezed my thigh once more. This time I decided that the best thing to do was to ignore it and hope she would stop. But no. After another five minutes, she started stroking my arm.
Again - stiff upper lip and all that - I pretended not to notice.
The aircraft still hadn't moved from the dock and I wondered if I should change seats, but the flight was full, so I remained where I was, eyes closed until, once again, I came under attack.
This time, Louise poked me in the ribs. Hard. I couldn't just ignore it: 'Excuse me, but are you all right?' I asked. Louise didn't look too embarrassed. 'No, I'm just bored waiting for the flight to take off,' she sighed, matter-of-factly. 'But you keep touching me,' I snapped. 'Sorry,' she said, casually, and looked the other way, as if she'd just dropped something on the floor.
So here was the conundrum: did I remain seated next to a frisky nut job for the next six hours - taking into consideration that if we ever took off the cabin lights would be dimmed and I might become the first reluctant member of the mile-high club - or did I complain to one of the Virgin staff? And if I did, what would I actually say to the flight attendant?
'Excuse me, but that lady keeps touching me' sounds a trifle pathetic. If it had been the other way round, and I was molesting her, I suspect the course of action would be more obvious: complaint, removal of offender from aircraft, probable prosecution and juicy tid bits in a tabloid.
But despite it being 2008, and the genders edging towards equality, it still somehow feels wrong if a man can't put up with a bit of uninvited, sexually predacious behaviour without seeking help from a not overly butch flight attendant. Fortunately, after one more thwarted attempt to arouse my interest, Louise fell asleep.
When we landed in London the next morning, I kept my eyes firmly closed until the seatbelt sign went off. Louise sprang out of her seat and dashed off the plane without looking back. I didn't even get breakfast. All I was left with was a nasty taste of emasculation.
Editor's note: Jeremy Langmead is the editor of Esquire magazine.
Dear Jeremy,
I believe unwanted sexually predatory behaviour is always wrong, whether the victim is male or female. No one should be on the receiving end of such behaviour.
Jeremy's story struck a chord with me because something similar happened to me on an overnight flight from London to Bahrain a couple of weeks ago.
I was sitting in the aisle seat of a three-seat row and the male passenger on my right, in the middle, was behaving very strangely.
From the moment I sat down, he began staring at me and constantly 'rearranging' his trousers. His arm touched mine 'accidentally on purpose' every few seconds, despite me constantly moving my arm to avoid him.
He then took out a mirror and a pair of tweezers and began to pluck hairs out of his chin, cheeks and upper lip area, unceremoniously discarding them in my direction.
We were still on the ground at this stage and his behaviour was becoming more and more bizarre, and I did not relish the thought of spending the night next to him, as my imagination tried not to conjure up images of what might happen next.
At this point we were taxiing down the runway ready for take off and he was still twitching, rearranging and touching both himself and me whenever I was not fast enough to move my arm away in time.
Then, just as the plane lifted off the runway, he unbuckled his seatbelt, and proceeded to take out the personal TV screen and recline his seat.
Finally, furious at his thoughtless behaviour, I told him he could not do that as we were taking off and it was potentially dangerous to others, especially me sitting next to him and that he must put everything back immediately.
He just glared at me, silently and ignored me.
I waited until the seatbelt sign went off and got up and spoke quietly to the steward, who apparently had noticed this man's behaviour and was sympathetic.
I insisted that I was not prepared to sit next to him for the duration of the flight and wanted to move my seat.
Unfortunately, the flight was completely full but the young steward used his initiative and found a male passenger sitting next to a lady and explained to him I was a lady travelling alone and was not comfortable sitting next to a man, so would he mind swapping seats with me.
Thankfully this passenger agreed and I heaved a sigh of relief as I settled down in my new seat.
I understand Jeremy's reluctance to speak up, but my advice would be that he should have got up out of his seat and discreetly talked to the steward.
Who knows what the outcome could have been, if this female had gotten really drunk and he had rebuffed her advances and she felt insulted enough to retaliate by screaming out and claiming he was the sexual predator?
This is just one possible nightmare scenario and I would urge anyone in a similar situation to speak up immediately to protect themselves.
A confined, intimate space, cabin pressure and sometimes unlimited alcohol just seem to produce the worst behaviour in some people, regardless of gender.
Dear Betsy,
IS it OK to remove my eye make up with baby oil? My friend saw me doing this and she says it's bad for me.
Lara.
Dear Lara,
Baby oil or mineral oil, can easily get into your eyes and cause an irritation. It can cause 'puffy eyes' in sensitive individuals and is messy to use.
You really need to cleanse again with another product to remove the mineral oil residue from your skin or the 'dirt' will linger.
In the old days of heavy-duty, "unremovable", waterproof mascara, and when there was an absence of gentle, effective eye make up remover products, this was a commonly used remedy.
However, these days waterproof mascara formulae are so sophisticated and there are many effective eye make up removers for waterproof mascaras.
Lots of women use baby oil as a cleanser for their face and eyes as they feel it is 'easy' to use just one product but you might like to check out those handy Cleansing Wipes in a packet that all the major companies such as Simple, Nivea, and L'Oreal now make.
Most of them will remove eye make up as well as facial make up.
I would not recommend that you use these everyday, as they are not so effective at deep-cleansing your skin on a long-term basis as wash-off cleansing gels and cleansing milks that are designed to deep cleanse your pores.
Using the cleansing wipes occasionally and when you are travelling is fine.
My favourite budget eye make up remover is Nivea's Gently Eye Make Up Remover and it comes in a special version for sensitive eyes too.
The cleansing process is often overlooked and performed poorly but it really is the first, most important, step to beautiful skin, as without that perfectly clean 'canvas' nothing that you apply afterwards, such as moisturiser or make up, will be able to function correctly and that build up of impurities that are the result of ineffective cleansing can soon turn nasty .... think blackheads, whiteheads and worse! Leave the baby oil to the babies and get yourself some grown-up girlie goodies instead.
BETSY SAYS RELAX
Now you are back at work after the Eid holidays and frantically trying to empty your In Box, your neck and shoulders need to readjust to being hunched up over your desk again.
Try to sit with your feet slightly elevated, on a small foot stool to help reduce stress on your lower back and hips.
Make a conscious effort to remind yourself to keep your shoulders relaxed and not overextend your neck.
Stand up and walk around for five minutes every hour or so and perform this simple exercise to release neck tension.
Place your hands on your shoulders then bring your elbows forward in front of your chest until they touch.
Keeping your hands on your shoulders, lift your elbows up and out to the sides of your body in a circle, dropping your shoulders down and back as you do so.
Repeat these circles five times then reverse the direction for another five repetitions.
Now shake your arms vigorously and get back to work!
IF YOU ONLY DO ONE THING THIS WEEK
Regular readers will remember how much I like to promote 'time management' skills to help us all in our daily lives.
A particularly profound time management definition crossed my desk this week.
I was discussing the challenges of time management in an email with a friend whose reply made me stop and think.
My friend, GKB, says that for him "time management is not about cramming as much as possible into a time slot, but about selecting those things he REALLY wants to do and managing his time to allow him to include those activities".
Seductively simple, it reminded me of how important a K.I.S.S. can be.
Keep It Simple Stupid and make it your philosophy this week.
