Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Unless you're a seasoned pro and receive awards left right and centre, it must be very difficult to stand up in front of a room of your peers and give a good acceptance speech.
I did a television interview with Melanie Chisholm (aka Sporty Spice) a few years ago. She was not long out of the Spice Girls and doing quite well for herself as a solo artist and had come to Bahrain for a concert.
When I started a question by pointing out that she had made a big a success of herself, she opened her eyes wide, pretended surprise and said 'who me?'
Now bearing in mind she was one fifth of a girl band that was so famous around the world it would be impossible for even the most remote of villages not to know her instantly by sight, you can imagine how insincere and fake her attempt at humility came across.
On the flip side, if you're world famous and come across as arrogant it runs the serious risk of being just as damaging to the way people see you so trying to make an acceptance speech must be very much like walking a tightrope.
With that in mind, who can blame Kate Winslet for being nervous when, after years of being left out of the winners' circle, she finally walked on stage to give her thanks at the Golden Globes last week?
But it was her second time up on stage that night that will most probably leave her cringing for many a year to come.
Having won Best Supporting Actress for The Reader, she then won Best Actress for her role in Revolutionary Road and promptly fell apart on stage.
If forgetting Angelina Jolie, when mentioning the other women in the category, wasn't enough, she got so flummoxed she twice had to tell herself (out loud) to 'gather' and then proceeded to blubber through the next, painful, four minutes of her speech.
Having said that, she's Kate Winslet and, in my opinion, should be forgiven almost anything. Not only is she beautiful and talented but she also comes across as being so down to earth and friendly that most of us would be happy to welcome her into our circle of close friends.
And let's face it; she's hardly alone when it comes to cringe worthy acceptance speeches. Who could forget Gwyneth Paltrow's 1998 three minute weeping frenzy, interspersed with effusive thanks to the world and its brother - including her 'Grandpa Buster' - when she won the Best Actress Oscar for Shakespeare in Love?
That same year at the Oscars actor Roberto Benigni was a surprise win for Best Actor and proceeded to jump over people to get to the stage before spewing utter gibberish in the form of: "This is a moment of joy and I want to kiss everybody because you are the major of the joy and he who kisses the joy as it flies lives in eternity sunrise." Errr... O.K!
Then there's Halle Berry's bawling after she was the first black woman to walk away with an Oscar in 2002, praising every African American woman she could think of, including Oprah Winfrey who she lauded as a great role model.
From the sublime to the ridiculous, we have James Cameron at the 1997 Oscars when he raised his arms above his head and shouted 'I'm the King of the World' before demanding a minute's silence for the victims of the Titanic and then yelling: "Now let's go party 'till dawn."
I could go on but I think you get the point. Truth be told, as much as we can mock Kate Winslet and all the other cringe worthy acceptance speeches, they make for a welcome relief from the usual hum-drum roll-call of names being thanked monotonously by most winners.
Although many of us stay glued to the screens when award ceremonies are on, the truth of the matter is that most of them are dull as dish water and the only relief we get while watching them is when we can make fun of how the rich and famous behave - it makes us feel so much better about being just your average Joe/Jo Bloggs.
Quote, unquote
You've read about the horrendous so now, in the interest of fair play, I'm going to leave you with a selection of quotes from some of the best acceptance speeches, courtesy of About.com:quotation:
Cate Blanchett, Best Supporting Actress, The Aviator:
I don't have a sense of entitlement or that I deserve this. You'd be surprised at the lack of competition between nominees - I think a lot of it's imposed from the outside. Can I have my champagne now?
Clint Eastwood, Best Director, Million Dollar Baby:
There are a lot of great movies that have won the Academy Award, and a lot of great movies that haven't. You just do the best you can.
Pedro Almodovar, Best Foreign Film, All About My Mother:
Right now I don't know if I have dreamt about this or not. But when you are in the ocean you must swim. Being on the race for the Oscars, logically I want to win.
Grace Kelly, 1954 Academy Awards:
This is one night I wish I smoked and drank.
Benicio Del Toro, Best Supporting Actor, Traffic:
I won and I get to scream and jump a little. But I got to go back to work tomorrow.
Louise Fletcher, 1976 Academy Awards:
I would like to thank Jack Nicholson for making being in a mental institution like being in a mental institution. I loved being hated by you.
