Marie Claire

Stand up for battle of rights

February 25 - March 3, 2009
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Political philosopher Edmund Burke once said: "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

There comes a time in everyone's life when you have to stand up for what you believe in. Whether it's against an important issue you feel strongly about or just simply putting your foot down and telling someone they've done you wrong. If you sit by and do nothing when you disagree with something, you can only really blame yourself when it all goes wrong.

With that said, not everything you disagree with has to be made into a bigger issue. If you stand against every perceived wrong, however small, you would never have time for anything else and others would soon get bored of all the grand-standing. And if no one wants to listen, no amount of debate is going to make a difference.

Pick your battles. Choose what's really important and let the rest go. If you show willing to let others have their way at times, they're more likely to sit up and listen when you really have something to say.

When you've picked your battle it can still be hard to know how to proceed. Knowing that you're not happy about something is the easy part. Knowing what to do about it and dealing with the consequences is much harder. You could find yourself taking an unpopular stance and others might not be happy. It can be a daunting process but only you know what's right for you and standing up for what you believe in, even when everyone else is against you, is the only thing you can do for your own peace of mind.

Think about how you will feel if you do nothing and don't stand up for yourself. Think about what it means for your future well-being (and that of others) and take strength from knowing that what you're doing is right.

First and foremost you need to know what it is that you really believe in. Thinking it through and looking at it from all angles is a must if you want to succeed in making a point. You have to be able to see the other person's point of view, even if you don't agree with it, before you can know for sure that you stand opposed to it.

You need to know why you're opposed to it and why the other side believes what they believe or you can't know for sure why it is you don't agree.

Know what you believe and then believe in yourself. You have to believe in yourself before you can get anyone else to believe in you so once you've made your stance known, don't allow yourself to have doubts.

To make a difference you need to truly believe that you can and doubt will only help you fail. Don't listen to others that try to put you down. It's inevitable that you'll come across people that will try to make you believe you aren't capable of doing what it is you've set out to do - whether it's because they want you to fail or whether it's because they don't have the courage to stand up and do something about it themselves, there are always people out there that will try to bring you down.

Take what you know about the other side's argument and go about finding logical and rational points to oppose it. The only way to really get what you want is to change their views on what they believe in and to do that you need to show them that your argument has more merit.

Stay calm when you're making your points. It's true what they say about the first person to raise their voice, loses the argument. Getting riled up and angry will only serve to cloud your thoughts and confuse the issue. It will also serve to make the other side angry and instead of listening to your point of view they will simply shut off to what you're saying or take an instant dislike to you - in all likelihood they'll do both and you'll have lost any credibility you had.

Know your argument inside and out. You have to be able to argue your point successfully and if you're light on the knowledge you bring to the debate the other side will soon dismiss you as not knowing what you're talking about.

If facts and figures are involved, know them and check them. Throwing out general comments that can easily be disputed isn't going to do you any good since in order to convince the other side you're right you need to know you have the right information.

If you're wrong about something, your opponent will then start to doubt any of the other facts you put forward and if there's doubt that what you're saying is true, you lose all traction in your argument.

Most importantly of all, know when to stop arguing your point. There's a thin line between saying what you need say and going too far. When you're trying to convince someone of something they don't want to believe in you need to give them a reason to believe in it and then let them think it all through for themselves. Pushing the point will only serve to irritate the other person and make them perceive you as bullying rather than rational. If a person isn't ready to see your side of things, let it be and come back to it later when they've had a chance to think it all through.

And if you've tried your best and still you've failed, don't be too hard on yourself. Trying is the most important part of all.

There's no shame in failing if you've given it your all. It's impossible to always win but staying true to yourself and what you believe in will at least make you sleep more peacefully at night.







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