Fifty and feeling frumpy

Dear Betsy,

I want to find an outfit for a wedding in England this August, but I am fat and frumpy and never know what suits me.

I don't want to let my family down but I need advice on what a 5 foot 4 inch fifty-something woman with a large bosom and skinny legs should wear.

Fifty and Frumpy.

Dear Fifty and Frumpy,

It is all just a matter of understanding what suits your figure. You don't say anything about your colouring (blonde/brunette/redhead etc) or your skin tone, so I suggest you take along a trusted friend to help you with an honest opinion on styles and colours.

However, this summer there are many pastel shades in the shops, such as lavender, mint green and coral which are complimentary to most skin tones. For girls over forty, I suggest soft, muted colours such as the above or even a soft neutral cream or off-white.

Having a large bust and skinny legs can be a great combination and there are many women who will envy you as they read your letter.

To minimise a big bust, a deep V-neck is your best option. Avoid anything with a high neck or double breasted jackets or coats as they will make you look larger up top.

Sleeves can be important also and I strongly suggest you avoid puff sleeves or very short sleeves or indeed a sleeveless style. The most elegant sleeves for you would either be fitted, slim cut sleeves to the wrist or three quarter length sleeves that end just below your elbow. Avoid turn-back or fussy cuffs, opting instead for a pretty chunky bangle or 'cuff' in a contrasting colour.

Having skinny legs means you can wear lovely swirly chiffon skirts or dresses which are perfect for the summer and you can team them with snazzy ankle strap shoes which are very fashionable this summer and can be found in every colour imaginable. The most flattering length would be just at the bottom of your knee.

A popular combination for a summer wedding outfit would be a dress and jacket or a skirt suit with matching accessories including a hat. If you are short and have a large bust then opt for a hat with a fairly high crown and a medium brim to add balance.

Those gorgeous feathery creations known as 'fascinators' are all the rage this season and they are so wearable and unfussy. Opt for one that has height and, for an easy to wear option, look for those that are mounted on a solid hair-band.

The trick here is to find an outfit that you feel great in taking into account the comfort factor and how much future wear you are able to get out of the ensemble.

If you are shopping in Bahrain and have a favourite outfit, then you could consider having it copied by a local tailor.

I feel that we girls should never buy an outfit unless we feel that 'wow' factor when we put it on. Easy to say but not so easy to do!

So, take that trusted friend with you and remember to wear those new shoes around the house or on a couple of outings before the wedding otherwise I suggest you buy some of those magic blister plasters from the pharmacy and keep them in your wedding handbag.

I hope you have a great time.

Dear Betsy,

I am serving on a charity committee and work hard for the good of the charity.

On our committee we have a lady who never actually turns up or does any of the work but she likes to try to take credit for everyone else's work and she is always available when there is a photo opportunity but never when there is work to be done.

Her responsibilities are taken care of by others and she has never actually done any work for the charity. The rest of us feel this is not fair. What should we do, Betsy?

Miss Charity.

Dear Miss Charity,

This is a tricky one, but very common. This always happens on 'committees' and anyone reading this who is on a committee, or has ever been on one, will agree with me, I am sure.

One way to approach it would be for your chairperson to have a quiet word with her about her lack of performance, and offering to give her an 'out' in case she is no longer in a position to allocate time to the responsibilities she agreed to undertake.

If she does not take the bait and insists on staying in place, then your chair has to emphasise that, although it is an unpaid, voluntary position, the work still needs to be done or she is letting the charity and the rest of your committee down.

This may be enough to spur her on. If not, you will soon know and I suggest that you all just split her responsibilities between the rest of you to ensure you are able to perform as you need to. As for the photo-ops, I would just make sure you 'forget' to inform her of the next one. When she questions this, explain to her that only those who actually worked on the project were invited for the photo-op. A bit sneaky perhaps, but only fair to those of you who have worked hard.

At the end of the day, the charity is the most important thing for all of you, but this type of situation means you are apt to lose focus and waste your precious time and energy on nonsense instead of on the worthwhile reason you are all together in the first place. I would also point this article out to her or bring it into the conversation.