Marie Claire

Don't worry be happy - live your smile

July 8 - 14, 2009
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Flicking through the channels the other night I caught a bubbly American girl saying 'Live your smile' to the camera.

It seemed like such a corny thing to say that I couldn't help laughing out loud to an empty room before moving on to see what else was on, but four days later the phase has been playing over and over in my mind like a broken record, non stop, all day every day.

The thing about corny is it's corny for a reason - because it's true. Although normally it would refer to a saying or expression that we hear over and over again, the fact that in this case it wasn't something I'd ever heard before and it still stuck me as corny tends to imply that it also rings true.

It took me a while to recognise it for what it was, but in the end I realised it was just a much simpler way of expressing how I like to try and live my own life: 'Don't worry, be happy'.

If you really think about it, what is life except a series of problems that need solving? If we spent all our time being depressed about everything that ever happened to us, we'd rarely find something to smile about.

Whether it's family, work or relationships, one way or another we spend our entire life solving problems.

It could be as simple as trying to work out what to cook for dinner when there's little in the fridge to work with or something far larger, such as how you're going to put food in your children's stomachs when you've just lost your job and the bank is breathing down your neck for the next mortgage payment.

But at the end of the day, whatever the problem is, allowing it to get the better of you isn't going to solve it. Getting angry or frustrated, hitting out or wallowing in self pity isn't going to make the problem go away, it's only going to make the situation worse.

I got a text from a friend a while back telling me he was angry with a colleague of his at work and that, try as he might, he was having a lot of difficulty trying not to punch him. He's not a particularly aggressive person, maybe a little hot-headed at times but he's intelligent, has a sensible head on his shoulders and would normally make a joke and walk away from the situation but he's more than capable of handling himself if it came to it, and I could tell from the content of the text that in this particular case he might actually do it.

I called him and told him to take some deep breaths before asking him if hitting the guy would solve the problem. The answer was no. Then I asked him if it would make the situation worse. The answer was yes.

Next question: would he feel better for doing it? Answer: yes for a split second but then no since the repercussions would be serious. Would it make the person any easier to deal with in the future? No. Was staying angry going to do any good? No. Was obsessing over it going to change anything? No. My last question: Wouldn't it take a lot less energy to just ignore the guy and move on to happier thoughts? Yes. In short, Don't worry, be happy!

Later that night a group of us all went out and I asked him how he was feeling about the whole situation and he admitted that as soon as he stopped letting the guy get to him everything worked out fine.

As an example of a problem, that was a pretty small one to deal with but the theory behind it is pretty much the same whether you're dealing with little irritations or much bigger troubles.

Life is generally hard all round these days. The economy isn't great and as such, people the world over are having to deal with losing their jobs, not being able to make bank payments and not being able to find new jobs.

With problems as big as that to deal with, 'don't worry be happy' would not only be a thoughtless but down right insulting thing to say but when it come right down to it, it's none the less apt. Not because ignoring the problem and making jokes is going to magically solve anything, but because the more you worry and stress over it the more depressed you'll become and the more hopeless you'll believe the situation to be.

It's a fact that the more you stress over something the worse the situation seems and unless you start to think that you can solve the problem, you never will. As hard as the circumstances might be, the only way to deal with it is to believe that you can.

You can either lie down and give up or pick yourself up, dust yourself off and work towards finding a solution. To do that you need to be able to smile.

However dark a situation seems, you need to be able to look around and find some light somewhere that can put a smile on your face. A child that puts their arms around you when you're sad, a friend that tells a joke to try and cheer you up, a feel good song that puts a spring in your step, or night out with you friends that reminds you how many people there are out there that care about you - whatever it is you're going through you have to make sure you put some fun in your life. In simple terms you have to 'Live your smile'.







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