Ask Betsy

Are you lonesome tonight?

September 9 - 15, 2009
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Gulf Weekly Are you lonesome tonight?

Dear Betsy, I read your column each week and I like the sensitive and humerous way you help people deal with their problems. I had never thought about emailing you until I read last week's letter from Girl Alive.

Her letter was sad. She is lonely and there are many of us out there. The difference is in my case that I am a bloke.

It is worse for us, we are not supposed to be lonely. We are supposed to soldier on, be tough and never show any emotions.

I was married for 29 years and lost my darling wife three years ago. Time does not heal and it does not get easier. That is just rubbish. I have a son, but he lives in America. I have friends here but like most expats, they move on and so you are left with email buddies in every corner of the world but no one to pop down the club for a beverage with.

How do you meet new people here? I haven't got a clue. I have a busy work schedule and stay in the office late and go in at weekends not because I love my job so much, but because the alternative is too horrible to deal with.

Alone in the supermarket. Alone cooking a meal. Alone at the cinema. Alone browsing the shops.

I hate it, but what can I do? I have tried internet dating but they all seem to live in Dubai and it's not practical.

I will be 60 next year and quite honestly I am dreading it. I want to share my life with someone and I am sure there are lots of people like me out there in Bahrain, so, Betsy what are you going to do to help us? Men hurt too and we are not all selfish, self-centered creatures as some believe.

Mr Alone.

Dear Mr Alone,

Last week's column seems to have been very thought provoking for lots of men and women alike.

I have received many phone calls and comments from readers who either find themselves, or a friend, in a similar situation or want to know how they can meet like-minded individuals.

I don't have an easy answer. Yes, I still think you should join societies and clubs and accept any and every invitation as you never know who may meet there.

But, I also realise there is a distinct lack of suitable opportunities for 40-60-something singles to meet up.

Internet dating, although very popular all over the world, is perhaps not so practical in Bahrain as it is such a small community. So what is the answer?

I can see a business opportunity here ... there must be an enterprising individual out there who could organise some tasteful singles events where all we single, available and interested girls and guys could meet up.

Bahrain is such a wonderful place to live, but not always when you are alone. One reader told me that each summer when his family desert him for cooler climates for a couple of months, it makes him realise how valuable his wife and children are and how much he would hate to be alone here.

It makes you think doesn't it? So, if you are in a happy relationship, be thankful for it and think about that single neighbour or friend and include them in your invitations.

Apparently, if you are willing to move to another Gulf country, it could be easier to meet a new partner. Recent statistics show that women are outnumbered four to one by men ... in Qatar and the opposite in Kuwait! Well, I am known for my innovative solutions and 'out of the box' thinking!

Are you lonely or do you have a friend who is? Email me and tell me about it.







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