Oh, lonesome me

Dear Betsy, I read Mr Alone's letter with a tear in my eye. By the time I got to the end of it I realised I could have written that letter myself.

The only difference being that my wife ran off with a work colleague four years ago and I am still on my lonesome.

I feel sorry for myself quite often but reading your page the last couple of weeks has helped me realise I am not the only sad guy out there.

I would like to have company to enjoy life with a trusted lady friend. I holidayed alone last year and vowed never again. It was depressing. I have no children and at 56 it seems unlikely.

The question remains, how do we meet our significant other in this society?

I wish I had an answer but I am always wary of speaking to ladies that I meet randomly in Jawads as there may be a husband lurking round the corner and I am just not brave enough.

I have thought about internet dating but have heard so many negative stories. Why can't some of the five star hotels organise a singles dinner party and give us the opportunity to meet others stuck in the same rut.

HJ.

Dear Betsy,

Your column is really interesting and very helpful. I was reading Mr Alone's letter - sounds interesting but if he could not find some time for himself he will be alone forever. Mabrook! And, well done.

Lolita S Sarengo.

Dear HJ, Lolita and other readers,

It seems that lonely hearts abound in the kingdom and my recent columns have prompted many to write about their feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Thank you to the several business people who emailed me saying they are interested in organising a 'singles' event.

Good news, you may think, but how they are going to achieve that in our society in a sensitive and tasteful way that does not violate local sensibilities remains to be seen. I get the feeling that the letters, phone calls and texts I have received on this subject, from all ages and nationalities, are just the tip of the iceberg.

Are some of us just too single-minded in the pursuit of professional success and financial wealth gathering that we fail to notice the importance of nurturing the priceless wealth of friendships that endure?

Bahrain has always been a place of transient friendships for expats, even though these days emails and social websites make it easier to keep in touch. However, it is not quite the same.

I discussed the loneliness issue with my youngest son Khalid, last week. He was about to leave to study in Manchester and I was telling him that I would miss him and would be lonely now I would be living alone.

At 18, surrounded by a never ending stream of phone calls, texts and a social life that would exhaust superman, he confided that he too felt lonely sometimes. When I expressed my surprise at this, the insightfulness of his answer surprised me "Listen Mum, you can be in the middle of a crowded room full of people and still feel lonely".

I used to crave some 'me time' when my kids were smaller and my life full of crazy family moments, but now I have lots of 'me time' and yes, I savour the solitude sometimes, but at other times, I crave that Friday family madness with the boys running around with half a dozen of their friends and me elbow deep in the kitchen trying to keep up with their appetites.

Those of you, who are in that moment, enjoy it now and spare a thought for that lonely neighbour or work colleague who might be sitting alone at home. Invite them over to share in your madness.