Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Picking up on where I left off last week, I want to make clear that when I talk about the need to set standards for ourselves I'm not talking about behaving like a prima donna, or thinking that you're too good for anyone around you.
Nor am I talking about refusing to drink anything but the best champagne or sipping your tea with your little finger sticking out (one of the biggest etiquette misconceptions, by the way - think about it, have you ever seen a picture of a member of any European royal family with their pinkie sticking out?).
What I am talking about is thinking long and hard about how you want to be treated and perceived by others and acting accordingly.
Work-wise for example, if you ever want to be taken seriously and work your way up the ladder you need to show that you're deserving of it.
The standards that you want to be measured by are hard working and reliable, friendly and a team player, while still being able to branch out on your own and get the job done if need be. You want your bosses to notice the work that you do and be impressed with your work ethic and you want your colleagues to enjoy working with you too.
Showing up late or only doing the bare minimum isn't the way to get that idea across, nor is treading on your colleagues toes and trying to take their assignments.
Be professional, polite and friendly (up to a point - making the odd cup of tea or coffee for the person at the desk next to you is great but constantly running around trying to do everything for everyone is only going to take time away from your own job at hand). Set yourself goals and then reach them with the minimum fuss and maximum impact.
While the standards we should be setting for work are pretty much the same for everyone, it's a very different matter when it comes to friends and relationships.
We're all very individual in our likes and dislikes so trying to give advice on the standards any individual person should want (beyond the obvious of hygiene and courtesy) would be like me trying to tell you what your favourite food is, but what I can say is that if you want to be treated a certain way you need to let the other person know.
But be realistic, especially where a new relationship is concerned.
I wouldn't recommend you sit them down on your first date, pull out a long list of demands and insist that they follow them. If you do, your first date will likely be your only date.
In fact it's shouldn't ever be about giving someone a list or telling them how they should be treating you, it's far more subtle than that. Like I said, we show people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves and others around us.
You're more likely to tell a risquŽ joke to a loud, fun-loving, party person than you are to the quiet studious person sitting in the corner. It's the vibe you give off that will often influence the way people behave towards you.
If a man sees a girl he's interested in and notices that she's always immaculately put together with a full face of make up and only the most stylish of clothes, he's not likely to take her to a karaoke night at his local pub for a first date because the likelihood is she's more likely to appreciate the finer things in life and be more comfortable in a smart restaurant.
Equally, a sporty tom-boy type of girl who never wears anything but jeans and old T-shirts isn't likely to want to spend a soiree at the opera or ballet.
I'm generalising and there are always going to be exceptions to the examples I've given but you get the point I'm making. We're judged on the outside first so the best way to set your standards is to live them.
People pick up on our habits just be being around us and notice the things we like and don't like, so if you're true to yourself and real in the way you behave people will behave that way towards you.
As an example, most of us are known to use a swear word every now and then when the conversation or situation lends itself to it, but there's a colleague at the radio who never uses language stronger than 'darn'. While she's much too nice to comment if anyone were to use a bad word in front of her, we've all noticed that she doesn't like swearing and we all adjust our language accordingly.
With that said, there are going to be times that you have to speak up for what you do and don't like because at the end of the day, very few people are mind readers and if you have a particular point of behaviour you feel strongly about you need to let the other person know.
Just be sure that when you do, you do it politely and kindly, taking the sting out of criticising someone who might not even realise they're offending you.
