Head over heals, quite literally

I fell over this weekend and have a very large and impressive multi-coloured bruise to show for it.

So impressive in fact that all day Saturday I had to be very careful how and where I sat - I think you get my point.

I was walking down the stairs at JJ's and when I got to the second to last step my foot decided it wanted to go off in another direction to the rest of my body with the result that both my feet went flying and I handed very hard on the front edge of the step.

I looked around and everyone was still going about their business as if nothing had happened. Bearing in mind that it was around midnight on a Friday night, it's pretty safe to say the place was packed so the only possible explanation for no one noticing is that they just pretended not to see it in order to save my blushes.

And, generally that would be a really nice thing to do for someone but in my case it was totally unnecessary. You see I have fallen over so many times over the last 35 years that by now I'm immune to the embarrassment of it all.

Nowadays all I can see is the humour in the visual and I'm usually the one who laughs the longest and loudest every time it happens.

You think I'm joking? I've fallen up stairs, down stairs, off a step ladder and even off a train. I've tripped down a single step and landed on my knees face first into a stranger's lap (get your minds out of the gutter!). I've gone flying across my bedroom floor and knocked my head on the side on a chair, disappeared under countless cars and off dozens of pavements. I've tripped on non-existent cracks and slipped on perfectly straight floors. I've even fallen out of bed in my sleep.

If there is any possible way of falling in even the most inconceivable of places, you can bet your last dinar I'm the girl that's going to do it.

Funny? Hilarious! In fact, I've spent the last 10-minutes solidly laughing until I cried, with much of the office looking at me as if I was mad, just because reliving each and every one of my multiple falls is still as amusing to me today as it must have been to everyone-else witnessing them at the time.

The bonus to how many times I've fallen over is one not many people can boast.

I have wholeheartedly earned the right to roll around on the floor laughing when someone else slips on the proverbial banana skin.

I don't need to try and spare their blushes and I don't need to turn away and mimic the sound of a fake cough to hide my giggles. I will always, without fail, check that the person is OK and hasn't done any serious damage and then I will howl with laughter until my cheeks hurt.

If I'd been there when my editor Stan walked face first into a glass door thinking it was going to automatically open and landed on his backside, or when reporter Shilpa thought she was drowning in four-inches of water and went swimming round and round the bottom of a pool of water like a torpedo, I'd have been the first person to offer assistance and make sure they were all right ... but then I would have split my sides laughing. I don't care who you are. That is funny!