Trust is fragile

Dear Betsy, I KNOW you are good at helping people to solve problems, but I don't think mine is an easy one. I am 24- years-old and work hard at my job. I had a crush on a boy at the company and I was silly enough to tell my work friend who told another girl, now the boy knows and everyone is laughing at me. I just want to die. I feel so stupid and don't want to go to work. My mother is asking me what is wrong and I can't tell her. I don't understand why my friend did this. Now she is not talking to me and it makes me feel even worse because I don't know why. I want to just leave my job. I am so sad, I cannot sleep and do not want to do anything with my family. What can I do Betsy?

SJ

Dear SJ, I am sorry that this girl betrayed your confidence. Unfortunately this is part of human nature. You sound like a kind, trusting girl and it looks like this time you chose the wrong sort of friend.

This happens to all of us in life from the playground to the grave. None of us are infallible, we all make judgement mistakes.

I don't know why she did this to you, there could be many reasons. Perhaps she secretly likes this boy too and saw you as competition for his affections. Perhaps she sees you as prettier, more intelligent, more popular or more fortunate than her?

She may feel inferior to you and saw this as a way of levelling the playing field in her mind. She may have thought doing this would make her feel better about herself, but I bet that it doesn't. When she thinks about it, she will realise that being trusted with information then betraying a confidence will ultimately let your workmates realise she is indiscreet, cruel and not to be trusted.

Keep this in your mind. She has not made you look bad; she has revealed her true colours and will regret it in time. No one respects a tattle tale and there is no way this will make her more popular.

I notice that nowhere in your e-mail did you mention the word 'anger'. This highlights the huge differences between your characters. Continue being 'you' don't let this change the good person you are. We all feel silly and a bit embarrassed from time to time and this little bit of office gossip will be quickly forgotten.

What is wrong with having a crush on someone? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I would just ignore the whole situation, hold your head high, smile and be friendly with everyone as you normally are and don't let this girl see she has upset you.

I am sure that by the time you have written this e-mail to me and it is printed in GulfWeekly and you read it, then the whole thing will have blown over.

If you have to take away a lesson from this, it is to learn to be a bit more circumspect about whom you trust, but without becoming too cynical. Life is too short to dwell on such situations so this weekend, get out there with your friends or family and enjoy life to the full.

IF YOU ONLY DO ONE THING THIS WEEK

READ your dictionary. Yes, seriously, open a page at random and learn a new word every day this week and make sure you use it to pepper your conversation and in e-mails. Get those little grey cells working and boost your IQ at the same time.

BETSY SAYS RELAX

YES, it is spring-time, so have you been bitten by the spring clean bug yet? Get stuck in to those drawers and cupboards and clear out your rubbish and recycle it or throw it away. Very liberating and clutter free space can help you achieve stress-free living according to the Feng Shui experts.