Expendable plot

When you place something high up on a golden pedestal, admiring it from afar and losing yourself in its splendor, you can often be disappointed when you get up close.

I wanted to love The Expendables, it features more stars than a constellation, more explosions than the Second World War and was pegged to be the Holy Grail of action movies. Yet, when I finally saw it I was left with a sinking feeling in my gut and a disappointment that is on par with burning your turkey on Christmas day.

So, what's not to love, how could this movie be anything but great? In short, there are so many stars involved, you're never really sure who to pay attention to, and no one really gets the chance to shine. This film is no Die Hard, no Terminator, no Rambo, no Rocky, no Lethal Weapon 4 ... the plot is interchangeable with any of the above films and although in theory that sounds like a good thing, trust me, it's not.

One of the more striking similarities that struck me was Sly and Dolph Lundgren going at each other like they were back in Rocky 4. I swear at one point I had to hold back from shouting 'You can do it Rocky' at the screen. The only difference, besides the fact that the fight didn't take place in a boxing ring, was that time has clearly not been kind to the aging action heroes.

So, I guess since I've not mentioned anything about the plot other than my dislike for it, I should probably tell you what the film is actually about.

A group of elite mercenaries, lead by Barney Ross (Sly), are presented with a mission to overthrow a dictator named Garza who has wreaked havoc on a small island somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico. Before they officially accept the mission, two members of the elite team do some reconnaissance after meeting with their contact, a young and beautiful woman called Sandra.

Ross learns that Garza is not acting entirely alone and is supported by a power hungry ex-CIA agent and his henchmen. It turns out that they have been manipulating Garza and are responsible for putting him in charge, much to the dismay of the US government. Why would they do that? Because they need his people to produce large quantities of cocaine, making the rich richer and the poor poorer.

In a slight twist, Sandra is revealed to be Garza's daughter and all hell breaks lose when the men who control her father kidnap her.

Ross is presented with a moral dilemma, does he accept the impossible mission, with certain death looming around every corner, or just walk away ... you guessed it, his team swing into action and destroy anything that stands in their way. Yes, there's some betrayal, some humour, some love interests ... but it just doesn't live up to the title of blockbuster.

As much as I hate to say it, I think Sly's best days are behind him. He's just clinging on to his fame by enlisting some famous friends to play cameos in a generic, over budget film that probably wouldn't get noticed without the big names. Sly, buddy, I just heard the bell, this fight over.

Showing in Cineco, Seef II and Saar Cineplex