TREAT YOURSELF WITH CARE

What does self-care mean to you? Do you have the perception that caring for yourself is selfish, egotistical and vain?
 
Do you have the belief that you should think of other people first? Does guilt rear its ugly head when you do, at times, focus on yourself?
 
Does it feel comfortable to always be helping, giving and loving others but deep down you feel unfulfilled?

Self-care is very important if you want to become content in your life. Focusing on others can only bring the temporary feeling of their approval. Many people focus on pleasing others, to gain what is perceived as their love and acceptance, because they have not actually learned how to love themselves first.

So, how does one go about caring for themselves in a healthy way? Well, you can carry out activities that you like to do, as this creates feelings of joy and happiness; so that is a productive, first step.

Other ways can include not obsessively focusing on other people’s behavior or actions.
 
It is a fact that the only thing we can control is our own thoughts, feelings and actions – we have zero control over what other people think, feel or how they behave.
 
Yet many people become obsessive in unhealthy relationships and end up focusing on the other person’s behavior. This is prevalent in relationships with selfish people or those that have addictions – you are never their primary focus.
 
This results in a relationship where regular negative feelings such as ‘I’m not loved/important/good enough’ are often felt. A whole new cycle is then set in motion.

A good way of self-caring is ensuring you learn to listen to yourself, recognising what you need and then expressing it. 

Many of us know what we need or want but are too caught up in ensuring others get what they need or want first, that we end up sacrificing ourselves.
 
When you are asserting your own needs, you feel strong, empowered and you get to do the things that are important to you.

Setting boundaries with others is also important to ensure our needs are met, and that others treat us with respect.
 
If someone acts in a way that is abusive or disrespectful to you, it is important to catch that behaviour when it first starts and to set a boundary with that person, so that it never repeats.
 
Many can become victims within a relationship because of their own lack of self-esteem, assertiveness and positivity, which attracts others to treat them in a negative or detrimental way. 
 
A toxic relationship can start to turn into a healthy relationship, as soon as self-care is introduced and boundaries are set.

Another way of self-care is watching your thoughts, which create your mood and feelings. 
Dwelling on thoughts of fear, whether they are directed towards your job or health or marriage, will manifest negative events. 

Fear is a very destructive emotion and can cause havoc within your life, if it is nurtured regularly.

By practicing thoughts of positivity, kindness, faith and respect towards yourself and others, your inner happiness will start to rise instantly. Others will love to be around the positive, energising and happier you.

Self-care should also include healthy eating, exercise, meditation or prayer (to calm the mind), as well as pampering your body. 

Did you notice when you have a bubble bath, with candles and soft music playing, how at peace you feel? This is because you are nurturing yourself in a centred, loving way.

Indulging in too much spending, eating or drinking is not self-caring but, in fact, trying to gain happiness from temporary, external outlets that are destructive.

Caring for yourself can also include setting achievable and realistic goals, so that you feel you are moving, with self-assurance, towards the life that is important to you. Self-confidence increases with the achievement of each and every goal that you have set for yourself. With each success, a feeling of independence, strength and renewed motivation materialises.
 
To nurture, care, love and accept who you are ensures you are available to nurture, care for, love and accept others. 

When you are not ‘filled’ up with care and positivity, you are not really totally present or available for others. Or if you are, it comes from a resentful and drained place. 

Caring for you includes non-judgment and non-criticism – thus comes the realisation that praise and encouragement is the only way. 

As you praise and care for yourself, you will see nothing but the best in you and everyone around you. How beautiful is that? Nothing but the best internally and externally!
 
Continued self-care ensures that your experience becomes a nurtured, more peaceful and happier one.
Why would neglect of the amazing, skilled and unique person that you are be an option?