Total disaster

SOME things in life are best left in the past, never to be revisited, some of my favourite examples include shell suits, Michael Jackson-type glitter gloves, mullets and Nicholas Cage’s acting career.
 
Is there any role in any film that Nicolas Cage won’t take these days? It has been well-publicised that he was swindled by his accountant and lost a fortune, but taking on projects like this to perhaps fund his penchant for flash cars and a big house lowers my estimation of him considerably.

In one of my reviews of one of the other disasters Cage has stared in of late,  I mentioned that I still held faith that he would redeem himself ... ladies and gentlemen, I was wrong. In my opinion, Nicolas Cage should be locked in an ironic cage to stop him making any more films like this!

As for Nicole Kidman, well, let’s put aside the fact that her ludicrously botoxed-looking face is an expressionless mask of apathy and focus on her portrayal. Her role in this movie consists of nothing more than screaming and being pistol-whipped, a real challenge for the former starlet.

The plot is as weak as it is predictable and trust me, it’s more predictable than fat kids around a cake at a birthday party. 

The premise for the movie revolves around a married couple whose rocky relationship goes from bad to worse when their seemingly picturesque life is put under the spotlight by a bunch of bandits.

To the outside world, Kyle (Cage) and Sarah (Kidman) have it all; a big house, flashy cars and a beautiful daughter. The problem is ... it’s all a facade to hide their dysfunction and demons.

Kyle is a fast-talking diamond broker who is often away on business, leaving the mansion’s renovation to his wife. However, between making big decisions and keeping tabs on their defiant teenage daughter (Liberato), Sarah often finds herself distracted by a young, handsome worker (Gigandet) who is around the house more often than her workaholic husband.

Kyle returns home from his latest business trip and barely has time to throw some valuables in the safe and kick off his shoes before there is a buzz at the security gate. A robber pretending to be a sheriff on an unannounced visit asks how many people are home and if he can come in ... so obviously he lets him in.

Suddenly, the ‘sheriff’ is joined by a couple of cohorts who proceed to whip out their guns and start demanding the whereabouts of the valuables. They want what’s locked away in the safe – presumably diamonds – and are willing to do anything to get inside.

However, since Kyle is a smart businessman, he knows that once he gives the goods over, his captors will kill him and his family. So, utilising his smart mouth, quick-talking charm, Kyle enters into a deadly negotiation with the crooks, hoping that his desperate gamble will somehow pay off.

Over the next few hours, we are given a little more information about the robbers and their back stories
The film tries to act out a cat and mouse type game but the script is so predictable that it’s just mind-numbing tedium until the credits role.

Showing in Cineco, Seef I and Saar Cineplex.