Being responsible

I AM faced with many cases involving aggression and young people with parents coming to me with complaints about their children’s unreasonable behaviour.

Personally, I feel aggression is an identity of youth. Their immense energy, however, needs to be channelled towards something constructive.

In one case it took a few sessions with a boy to help him understand how he is responsible for the choices he makes and the decisions he takes.

By planning his goals and explaining how he could work towards them, his energies were directed towards achievement and within a short space of time he no longer displayed anger or negative feelings towards his parents or siblings.

Today this young man is working in a profession of his choice and is very successful. The very same parents who used to complain about his behaviour now praise him and feel proud of his achievements.

While recalling this case I cannot help thinking that similar problems have escalated today in Bahrain. The energies of too many young people are focused on destructive tendencies.

Some of Bahrain’s young people are blindly wasting their energy without thinking of the repercussions of their actions and the fate of their country should this situation continue.

This is what happens when action towards utilising their flow of energy is not taken at the right time.

Who is to blame when no-one is ready to take responsibility? Too many people are busy playing the blame game. But why are we so scared of taking personal responsibility?

We can find ourselves blaming others for everything that is wrong in our lives, be it our leaders, the boss, colleagues, husband/wife, children, relatives or friends. Everyone-else is to blame it appears, except you.

The young do not like to be told how, or what, to do. They don’t like to be controlled. But if they want liberty and demand freedom they must be made aware of what it means to take responsibility.

Are they ready to take that responsibility and take charge of their lives … and are we ready to help them?
So now let’s talk about what it means when we say ‘you should take responsibility’. Being responsible, in a psychological sense, does not mean taking care of others or being accountable to someone. It means being aware of available choices and choosing the best course of action consciously. In other words, it means being capable of responding (Response + Ability). We should use our creativity to develop alternative responses and allow a choice over the best course of action to take.

What do you do when it is winter? You wear warm clothes. You cannot just continue wearing summer clothing and blame the weather.

In the same way we need to understand that circumstances in life are not always in our control. But what we can do is to choose our responses in dealing with them. Hence, take charge of your life and take responsibility for your actions.

It is easier said than done, since today’s society often preaches a different sermon. Since our childhood we have been learning to blame people and circumstances for our discomfort, unhappiness and unfulfilled dreams.

Are our young ready to take that first step towards being responsible and being free? The next time you blame someone … hold yourself back and think about how you will respond. Is there a better way?

Dr Puja Taneja Malhotra,
Ph.D. Psychology,
Psychological Consultant, Trainer & Coach.

* When it comes to fitness, experts say men generally want to be bulkier and women want to be trimmer and everyone wants to do what they are good at. That’s why as more women tackle brawny boot camps and men seek flexible peace on the yoga mat, crossing traditional gender lines, intelligently, can be a good idea..

* Anti-smoking measures including higher taxes on tobacco products, bans on adverts and controls on lighting up in public places could prevent tens of millions of premature deaths across the world, researchers said. Similar steps taken by Bahrain, Turkey, Romania and 38 other countries between 2007 and 2010 were already saving lives, the independent study published by the World Health Organisation said.

* Switching to electronic health records may lead to a small reduction in spending per patient at doctors’ offices, according to a new study. Researchers found that doctors’ offices would be expected to spend about $5 less on the care of each patient per month after they started using electronic health records (EHRs), compared to doctors’ offices that continued to use traditional paper records.