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In terms of frustrating films released this year, The Last Witch Hunter must be up there at the very top. There are fleeting moments when it feels like you’re witnessing an epic graphic novel brought to life, but all too often it’s dragged down by lousy acting and shoddy digital effects.
The story begins in medieval times, where armies of witch hunters have been battling vicious supernatural creatures for centuries. One of these warriors is Kaulder (Diesel), who manages to slay the powerful Witch Queen, but not before she places a curse of immortality upon him.
Eight hundred years later, Kaulder is the last hunter left alive and still spends his time banishing evil foes when he isn’t depressed about his long-departed family. However, when the Witch Queen’s modern-day worshippers decide to unleash another deadly Black Plague on humanity, Kaulder is forced to team up with a ‘good witch’ named Chloe (Leslie) in order to stop them.
It sounds like a decent premise, albeit an unoriginal one, but the storytelling is plodding at best. The events in the present day kick off when Kaulder’s record-keeper of sorts (Caine) is attacked by witches, but instead of high-tension and frantic chase scenes, we get numerous tiring scenes of the leads searching for clues and throwing their weight around to get answers. It’s like watching an episode of CSI with magic replacing forensic equipment, but without any of the suspense.
Diesel has fantastic charisma and screen presence (as anyone who’s seen a Fast and Furious movie will know), looking the believable part as someone who has been through a lot of trials and means business. He’s definitely the best part of the movie and there’s still a guilty pleasure in watching him break bad guys in two, even if his use of magic occasionally looks a little silly.
The same can’t be said of the other characters, though. Leslie is wooden and lifeless as the sidekick whose primary role is to get Kaulder out of trouble when he gets stuck, and in standard eye-rolling fashion, these situations are resolved by powers she miraculously develops when she needs them.
And, the less said about Caine and Elijah Wood’s characters, the better. Both are fantastic actors but they are criminally short-changed here and relegated to expository mouthpieces when the lead characters (and by extension the audience) need filling in on information.
When the good moments come, and there’s definitely a handful littering the movie, they’re very good. The action scenes are fun and physical when Diesel is going mental on witches with a flaming longsword, and he’s right in his element.
Sadly, they’re too often laden with gratuitous digital effects. The monsters look horrifically fake; embarrassingly so at times. Think of the Halloween costume your sons and daughters or even yourselves threw together last weekend, and feel proud that you managed to design something more realistic than this offering.
As I said at the beginning of this review, it’s just frustrating. Every time the movie builds up a head of steam, it ruins it with lifeless story telling or dreadful dialogue. It had the potential to stand out, but thanks to bland performances, poor CGI and a lacklustre plot, it falls short despite Vin Diesel’s best efforts.
Showing at Cineco, Seef I, Saar, Al Jazira, Novo Cinemas, Dana Cineplex
