The summer holidays are a time when families spend a lot of time together and it is an opportunity for us to bond in ways that busy work and school routines sometimes stop us from doing.
It is also a chance for children to rest, but if we are not careful, the holidays can soon become boring if we allow them to set their own routines and not to maintain some of the sense of self discipline that they learn during the rest of the year.
Given the opportunity, children will happily stay in bed till midday, get something easy to eat then turn on their Play Station or Xbox until it’s time to go to bed again … and whilst this may give us some peace and quiet, it is lazy parenting and as such gives very bad life messages to children which can have far reaching consequences into adulthood.
So how do we ensure that children are learning as well as resting during the long summer break?
If you are lucky enough to get away on holiday then every day gives you a chance to do this, ensconced as you are in a new environment with the adventure of discovering new people and places on your doorstep. But if you are ‘stay-cationing’ it can be much more difficult to do.
One way to make sure that children and teenagers don’t slip into bad habits is to set some ‘non-negotiables’ at the beginning of the holiday.
These are exactly what they say; rules that are non-negotiable. These can be anything from a time to get up every day, the chores that have to be done or the types of food that must be eaten. Your non-negotiables should set a baseline expectation of behaviour and lifestyle choices for your children and also demonstrate a level of self-discipline.
Once your non-negotiables have been set, explained and are clearly understood, then how the rest of the day is spent becomes negotiable. So for example, if your child likes to switch on their consoles at every given opportunity, explain to them why it isn’t good for them to play on it all day and negotiate the amount of time that is acceptable. If you can both agree on that then your child will feel that they have had a say in how they spend their day, rather just being told what to do which will ultimately lead to resentment.
Another way of enabling children to make the most of the time afforded to them during their vacation is to consult with them on what they would like to do and to give them opportunities to earn it.
We all want to give our children a good life and treat them when we can but getting treats without earning them this can set a bad example and lead to five-star child syndrome, (when children get used to getting the good things in life without having to work for them).
So if your child wants to visit Wahoo! or the Lost Paradise of Dilmun Water Park, set up an expectation chart to ensure that your children can earn the treat by completing tasks that you both agree on. That way you can be certain that time spent during the summer becomes time well spent and not, as is so often the case, time wasted.