Education matters

There is a very old cliché that we all are guilty of telling our children at times, the one that says if you work hard, success will follow.

On face value it is a straight forward motivational statement designed to encourage us to put in a little more effort … be it into homework, sports or life in general. 

My problem, however, is that it’s just a little too throwaway and like most clichés it is easy to say but not quite so easy to follow through with and that, for children, can be dangerous.

The more you think about it, it is such an ingrained concept within world culture from movies to self-help books that we can’t be blamed for happily passing the message on, whether we believe it or not because it sounds like the type of thing we should be saying so that’s why we do, because it makes us sound wise and all-knowing.

The fact is though, it isn’t true, at all. Success doesn’t always follow hard work and, secondly, what happens when you do put in 100 per cent effort but don’t receive the rewards you expected? Tears usually. 

What exactly should we say to a child who finds themselves in this situation, another cliché? (One would presume: ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’).

Many times I have seen children upset and confused because they didn’t achieve what they had been promised they would if they only put in the hard work. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is why we give out medals and cups for turning up.

Parents and adults in general need to think more literally and less laterally when helping their children make sense of things. It is easy to make throw-away comments that seem to have more substance than they do in order to cover the myriad of experiences and emotions that children will experience as they move towards adulthood, but that’s just lazy parenting. 

As with everything regarding children, being honest will enable them to have reasonable expectations and ultimately enjoy the experience more if and when they are successful.  Working hard instills discipline which can lead to success and a desire to win can be channeled to encourage the discipline required, but if this is coupled with an expectation of success without reasoned thought then a damaging catastrophe can follow.

So, here’s another cliché for you but one that better serves the needs of children as it gives them a much more useful life lesson: Hard work is its own reward.

There is a feeling that you get when you know that you have worked hard on something called satisfaction. 

Teaching children the value of working hard through encouraging them and taking interest in the tasks they are doing will make it more likely that they will be successful in achieving them, not because there is a ‘turning up medal’ at the end of it, but because of the enjoyment they will get during the work and the satisfaction they will have once it is completed.