Into the madding crowd

Ah, a peaceful day at the beach listening to the waves lap at the shore! Forget about it in bella Italia, paisano.

Rap music blares from a portable radio, a volleyball rolls onto your towel, and an Italian mama screams at her sand-caked son. Such is beach life, Italian-style.
Those looking for quiet and relaxation at the seashore had better head for the Maldives or Caribbean, not Rimini, Riccione or Rocco Camogli.
The Italian consumer group Codacons did a survey of beach-goers and put together a “top 10” of the worst offences at Italian beaches. No 1 on the list is mobile telephones.
“Italians, it seems, can’t get by without their beloved mobile phones even when they’re on holiday,” Codacons noted. “But the person under the beach umbrella beside you, who would actually like to take a nap, might not be interested in details of your private life.” Codacons’ advice: “Switch off the ring tone and speak softly at least!”
For veterans of Italy’s beaches, it is all too common: No sooner have you staked out your cosy spot in the sand and put up the beach umbrella than a big Italian family arrives and plops down its folding chairs, towels and cooler about 10cm away from you. Not keeping a proper distance is No 2 on the list.
No 3 is wild splashing. “While we’re slowly trying to get acclimatised to the chilly water, someone comes running up like a bulldozer, throws himself into the water right next to us and gets us all wet,” the consumer group said. This can really get the blood of sensitive swimmers boiling.
The list continues with long waits for the beach shower (No 4: “If you’re dirty, wash yourself at the hotel.”), yelling and bickering on beach towels (No 5), inconsiderate games of beach volleyball and soccer (No 6), and blaring radios (No 7).
Rounding out the top 10 are roaring water scooters, people who dump their trash into the sea, and loud bickering with peddlers who constantly turn up to hawk fake Rolexes and knock-off Gucci bags.
It is doubtful, however, that Codacons’ well-meaning advice will do any good. Italians are naturally loud, obtrusive and rather inconsiderate. But such is true beach life in Bel Paese.
Those looking for quiet and relaxation can go to the Maldives.

Carola Frentzen