Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
I volunteered myself as a guinea pig for a story on acupuncture weight loss (you can read all about it in next week’s issue out Wednesday 18th April) and while I was talking to the doctor he told me that he has had problems with some of his male clients.
It seems that when they lost weight their wives got angry and in a couple of cases left their husbands.
The doctor had spent a long time feeling guilty that his work should result in the break up of marriages and blamed himself for his clients’ misfortunes. It had never occurred to him that he wasn’t the problem, the problem was the reason those particular clients went to him in the first place.
It never fails to surprise me how dumb men think their women are. When a man has been overweight for a long time without bothering to do something about it, unless he’s morbidly obese and his doctor had told him he’s going to die if he doesn’t lose weight, the only conceivable reason for him bothering to lose weight is another woman. It doesn’t take a genius to work it out … just a wife with half a brain. So anyway, it got me to thinking: what are the five main slap-you-in-the-face clues that your man is a-strayin’?
Number one: If your man is a slob or stuck in a fashion rut (and let’s face it, unless he’s a queer eye for the straight guy fan most men are) and he suddenly starts caring about his appearance, you can be 98.3 per cent (give or take a point or two) sure he’s got his eye on a girlie girl he’s trying to impress.
Number two: If he suddenly hasn’t got the time to spend with you that he used to or is spending more and more time with the ‘lads’, chances are he’s doing the dirty behind your back.
Number three: If he suddenly stops answering your calls at the moment of calling on a regular basis and instead calls you back later, it’s very likely he’s in the company of someone he doesn’t want to let know about your existence.
Number four: If he suddenly starts picking fights about things that he’d normally not bother with and threatens breaking up over it, he’s hoping you’ll call his bluff – leaving him guilt free to move on to the next woman.
Number five: If he starts regularly talking about a new female colleague or friend the odds are he has designs on her.
So there you have it ladies, if any, or all, of these signs make an appearance in your relationship there’s an outside chance there may be an innocent explanation … but it’s much more likely your man has another woman on his mind. Stop making excuses for him and start finding a spare of your own!
