Sidney’s Style

The art of good conversation

July 18 - 24, 2007
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Gulf Weekly The art of good conversation

I always believe that being able to present yourself well gives you that winning look and attitude wherever you go.

With the tips that you will be reading, it will definitely help you have that amount of confidence and shall I say “a done deal?” in what you want to achieve in life, may it be corporate or just simply applied in everyday living. So read through and practice it!
Ideal conversation is an exchange of thought, not an eloquent of wit or oratory. It is the ability to express interest in the other person and to express our thoughts and feelings clearly and simply.
Conversation should be a matter of equal give and take. You should not monopolise the conversation. There is a simple rule by which one who is inclined to “run-on” can at least refrain from being a pest or a bore: STOP AND THINK!
If you’re afraid not to be able to think of anything to say, remember that most conversational errors are done by not those who talk little but by those who talk too much … so don’t panic!
Back it up with a railroad sign; which means in conversation you stop – do not rush ahead without thinking; look – means pay attention to the expression of the person with whom you are talking to. And finally listen – meaning, exactly that. It’s the best advice possible, because everyone loves to talk to a sympathetic listener.
Always think before you speak! The burden of thinking before speaking is our own. Dorothy Sarnoff wrote: “I” is the smallest letter in the alphabet. Don’t make it the largest word in your vocabulary. Say, with Socrates, not “I think”, but “What do you think?”
Find it always in your heart to give out compliments to people. If you have a nice thought about someone, tell him or her.
Archbishop Fulton Sheen once remarked that, “A compliment is baloney sliced so thin that is delectable. Flattery is baloney sliced so thick that is indigestible.”
One more thing about compliments please make sure that it is coming from your heart … sincerely given!
Now that you know the important aspects on how to be a good conversationalist, let us tackle the topic on business dressing and grooming.
Most of us dislike the implications if the old axiom that clothes make up the man; yet we know it contains a grain of truth, especially in business, where clothes make the Man / Woman as well. As often as not there are two equally qualified candidates for the new position, the one who “looks the part” is chosen over the one when appearance is less so.
For both men and women, it is appropriate to be clean – SQUEEKY CLEAN.
Clean nails, clean hair and clean clothes. Also make sure that your clothes are properly pressed; even clothes of natural fibers which wrinkle immediately should be pressed to start.
Appropriate attire for women depends on what part of the industry you work in. inappropriate means several things. For women it means overly-dressy clothes in the daytime, too much hair, too much makeup, too much jewellery, too casual appearance and such things as glow-in-the-dark colours or patterns that hurt the eye.
Menswear that is inappropriate is clothing that is too casual , patterning that doesn’t “GO,” such as too many different stripes worn at one time on suits, shirts and ties; socks that allow the leg to show between the pant hem and shoe; socks that don’t co-ordinate with suits; and out-of-date collar, lapel trousers, widths or styles.
Noisy jewellery, chest hair showing through unbuttoned shirts or thin fabric shirts, and hair that is over-styled, or greasy.
Facial hair should be trimmed and neat. Shoes should always be a soft leather or look alike, not patent leather or shiny; nor construction boots, woodsman’s boots or rubber-sole shoes appropriate with dress suits, in an office setting.
Many companies do offer dress down days for their employees at least one day a week. Some have no rules accompanying this policy, while others provide “relaxed attire clothes” including dos and don’ts.
Perfume, cologne and aftershave smell good when a mere hint of fragrance is apparent.
They are ghastly when co-workers are force to run to open windows for air after you walk by.
Please make sure that you test that scent first on your wrist and leave it for about 30 minutes to get that your natural body chemistry to mix with the hint of notes on that particularly scent. This way you will know if it smells good on you or not.
What do you say or do when a co-worker has an offensive breath, body odour, or dandruff? Answer: it will be the kind of relationship one has with the offender … please be very careful and choose the right words to say.
The person who is fully aware of it will initially get embarrassed but ultimately be grateful for you helping him or her.
Good manners, work ethic, conscientious attitude and overall performance all contribute to your future in any job and especially to potential promotions.
In addition to that, you may have many obvious qualifications such as intelligence and creativity, but if you pay no attention to smaller details, you may never move ahead.







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