Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Donate, volunteer or both. When you are snug as a bug in a rug in your warm home or comfy bed, spare a thought for those poor construction workers who are freezing as they build our future country brick by brick or try to sleep in inadequate, unheated rooms with flimsy bedding.
Contact Salma Bala on 39612092. This angel of mercy drives around the construction sites handing out blankets, scarves, jackets, gloves, hats and a smile that can warm up the coldest day.
Salma, pictured inset, welcomes all donations but even more, she welcomes volunteers to help her deliver these simple basic tools of human comfort.
If you can afford to buy just one fast food meal you can afford to buy a warm hat and gloves for a fellow human being.
Think about that as you bite into your next burger.
Dear Betsy,
Can you stop giving such bland goody goody advice to people? I don’t think you are living in the real world.
If you were you would realise that nothing can be solved by sending people to buy lavender oil or to visit the Jamsheer House in Muharraq. I read your New Year’s article with 50 ways to change your life for the better, but it was full of your usual simplistic platitudes … get real and give real advice or let someone else with a realistic view of the world do your job.
Disappointed and
Disillusioned.
Dear Disappointed and Disillusioned,
Oh dear … you are suffering from a clear case of … “nobody loves me” syndrome.
There is no use denying it, your letter shouts and screams it as plainly as the nose on your face. (which is clearly out of joint at present).
The festive season and especially New Year does this to lots of us and it is nothing to be ashamed of. Human emotions are a complex issue and you are not able to face up to the fact that deep down, you are an emotional human being, just craving to be loved, like everyone else.
Facing up to your own humanity can be scary and I don’t blame you for being afraid to face yet another challenging year.
Your reaction to my column tells me you are in denial, lacking in confidence, depressed, probably lonely and overwhelmed by the demands of modern life and are finding it difficult to ponder your future.
This is a common reaction to the stresses of modern life.
Of course, buying lavender oil and visiting the Jamsheer House won’t result in world peace or an end to global warming but they can help us cope with everyday life.
If you are just going to sit at home, read my column and wallow in self-pity (YES! That is what you are doing) then shame on you.
The longest journey begins with the first step and for some of us that might be buying a bottle of lavender oil to help us get some sleep. For you that first step was writing to me, whether you realise it or not.
You accuse me of not giving realistic advice, so here is yours, straight up, no sugar coating … stop whingeing, be grateful for what you have, get out there and help others less fortunate than yourself and if there is something you don’t like about your life then change it … or put up and shut up.
Dear Betsy,
I know this may sound premature as December 2008 is a long way off but I remember a previous article of yours where you said planning ahead was very important for success.
I have just gotten rid of my mother-in-law, sister and brother-in-law and three nephews and nieces.
I really pulled out all the stops to make them feel welcome, even when they don’t do the same for me when I am in
I did this because I love my husband and I wanted him to be proud of me, our home and our hospitality.
They drove me crazy and I used to go to my shower and silently scream every night.
I used frankincense as you suggested for panic and anxiety (need a new bottle now) but I smiled and cooked and chauffeured and cleaned until I thought I would go mad.
The only thing that kept me going was the thought of them leaving on the January 12 and reminding myself I would not have to see them again until our usual biannual trip to
It seems I did such a good job that everyone wants to come here again THIS December for the festive season and my husband is so proud and happy and thinks it is great.
He just assumes I feel the same way and I don’t like to hurt him or refuse him anything, but I can’t face it again. Please tell me what to do.
On the Edge,
Riffa.
Dear On the Edge,
Congratulations on a job well done. Those extra brownie points you have just earned will not go to waste.
It is never easy to have house-guests and it sounds to me as if you have earned your PhD in this area!
The first thing you need to do is tell your husband how happy it made you to be able to host his family LAST year but THIS year you would like to ...*&%$#@ … and spell out to him exactly what that is.
It might be a romantic getaway for just the two of you or maybe you would like to spend it with your family in
You need to start making and keep making these noises until he gets the message and it becomes accepted that this is what will happen.
I suggest you write to your in-laws and thank them for visiting and say how you don’t know how you will cope with the winter weather this coming Christmas in
Even if you don’t end up there or that is not where you plan to go, it sets the scene for her.
You need to have a strong open communication with your husband and the best time to ask/tell him about it is when he has settled down to read the newspaper, as we girls all know men can’t concentrate on two things at once and he is most likely to agree just to shut you up and let him get on with the serious business of reading Patrick Cummings’ column.
