Marie Claire

Please show some respect

April 29, May 5, 2009
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I was shown a classic example of not following the rules this week and the chaos that can ensue when people choose not to go through the proper channels.

Without going into the details, the argument is still raging as to who was right and who was wrong but looking at it from the sidelines I have to conclude that everyone dealt with the situation in the worst possible way and as a result tensions are higher than they should be, with each side digging their heels in and insisting they're right.

The matter of who will prevail is obvious, right or wrong it's the person at the bottom of the heap that is going to lose out because like it or lump it, the person with the biggest connections is always going to come out on top.

From the most powerful ruler to the poorest of beggars, we are all born as equals in the eyes of God and as such have no right to see ourselves as better than anyone else we come in contact with but the very essence of life is that there is a hierarchy that needs to be followed. Whether it's in your home life, work or the world around you there will always be those that are treated better or with more respect than others.

Money, power, looks and standing all contribute to how a person is treated. It might seem unfair but that's just the way it is - and to a certain extent, has to be to keep us moving along as a civilised society.

If no one had more power than any one else we wouldn't have a penal code to protect us from those that break the law - in fact there wouldn't be any laws in the first place and people would be free to go around killing each other and causing general mayhem where and whenever they chose.

A few years ago I worked with a colleague who thought themself to be better than others they worked with and for.

That particular person's attitude being that the colour of their skin automatically made them better than a number of their work superiors and as such gave them the right to completely bypass the hierarchy system at work and go right to the top when they had a problem to be solved. It worked well for them for a while but what they didn't realise is that in doing so they were making enemies of the people they should have been making friends with. Needless to say, years down the line, those superiors are still working happily along with everyone else in the same company while this particular person lost their job - courtesy of one of the people they worked so hard to undermine.

There's a management structure for a reason and whether we like it or not, it needs to be followed. When a problem arises we need to show our immediate superiors the courtesy of going to them with the problem and hope that they'll do their job in solving it.

If that fails, the next step in the process is to politely inform them that you're not satisfied with the way it's been handled and offer them another chance before you take it higher. Only when that fails is it ok to work your way up the ladder. In much the same way as we wouldn't expect the top boss to go yelling and screaming at the bottom of the totem pole when something goes wrong, it's inappropriate to think we can go whinging to the top when we're not happy with something.

Without structure we can only descend into chaos. If we were all given the opportunity to always be right and do as we pleased, life would be a disaster zone with everyone doing what they wanted without care of how their actions might affect others around them and the world would be a miserable place to live.

At the end of the day it's all about respect. If we want to be treated with respect we have to do the same to others.







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