Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Touch wood, I've yet to have a serious prang on the roads of Bahrain ... that's not to say half a dozen lunatics haven't tried to wipe me off the surface of the earth, writes Stan Szecowka.
There are certainly every day challenges on the daily commute between Saar and Sanad but I think I've got the number on the erratic antics of the many who enjoy a mobile phone chat, the ladies who dawdle along in the middle line of the highway day-dreaming about what colour their toenails should be painted and the Saudi speedsters hammering along towards the Causeway.
No, the ones that set me all of a shudder with ice-cold sweat dripping down my spine are the moronic high-speed lane changing maniacs who sneak up on you from all, any and every direction and make changing lanes a hazardous occupation even if you use your indicators (I know, I'm an old fashioned boy ... but someone has to set the standard).
Wouldn't it be nice, at times, if you had eyes in the back of your head? Although medical procedures are bounding ahead I don't think any surgeon has mastered the technique to date but Jaguar has the next best thing.
For technology that provides real peace of mind, look no further than the remarkable, radar-based Blind Spot Monitor that is designed to flash a warning if it senses a vehicle hidden in your blind spot.
It is a remarkable piece of technology and an absolute God-send when driving on Bahrain's highways.
It is just one of the technical treasures inside the BD28,500 Jaguar XF 5-litre V8 I test drove - an even cooler a cat than a moggy manoeuvring around the restaurants of Adliya.
It accelerates with lightning speed and a throaty roar. The driver can slip easily between 'Drive' and 'Sport' modes as the latter holds the lower gears longer on the XF's six-speed electronic automatic transmission, kicks down more readily and sets pulses racing.
The makers claim this car was all about creating a driving experience that excites and exhilarates and it does its best to live up to the hype by providing a comfortable, luxury ride coupled with true, hard-edged sports car handling.
A touch is all it takes. No buttons. No miniscule keypads. The XF's crystal clear seven-inch full colour touch-screen offers logical, intuitive control. Its menu-based system provides simple operation of many of the car's key interior functions - climate control, entertainment, satellite navigation, Bluetooth telephone connectivity, even the settings of an iPod.
If that wasn't easy enough, 'JaguarVoice' enables many of these to be voice-activated. Just touch the press-to-talk button on the steering wheel and speak the command.
Lots of clever tricks but the Blind Spot Monitor on the side mirrors remains my favourite useful motoring invention of recent times.
For more details contact Mohammed Jalal & Sons' automotive division on 17707070.
