Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Yes, that's right rapper 50 Cent is trying his hand at acting and I know what you're thinking, it can't possibly be any worse than his attempts at singing, right? Wrong!
It would probably take less time to count the things that aren't wrong with this movie than the things that are ... and that's putting it mildly.
Imagine if Lock Stock was made with twice the budget and half the talent and you'll have a vague idea of how bad this film is. To make matters worse there are even a few cameos from the cast of Lock Stock, just to add salt to the open wound that is this film.
So why is the movie so bad, you ask? I'll explain the 'plot' as best I can and leave the rest to your discretion ... but be warned, you'd better get comfortable and make a coffee because this is going to take a while.
Ex con Nick Kane goes straight and quits his life of crime when his poor mother becomes so ill she needs a wheelchair. Nick decides to make a legitimate living by opening a travel agency but, he needs a little help.
Enter 50 Cent as Mr Thigo, a loan shark who is more than willing to lend him the cash ... until the credit crunch hits and he needs to call in all of his debts. Sadly, for Nick, his business isn't doing too well (because of the recession maybe?) and he is unable to pay back the dirty gangster.
Well, obviously we all know gangsters are not to be messed with and so Mr Thigo gives Nick an ultimatum, pay up in 24 hours or dear old mum will have an unfortunate 'accident'. Since Nick is a doting mamma's boy, he doesn't take too kindly to the threat and enlists the help of his old friend Bing to help him hatch a scheme to save her.
Now, I know what you're thinking, that sounds like a fairly decent plot ... yeah, but none of that is really clear until you've wasted 92 minutes watching the whole film! And, I only did it so GulfWeekly readers don't have to (you're welcome).
This simplistic and cringe-worthy crime caper is not far off being the worst film I have ever seen. It's boring, predictable and soulless. What infuriates me the most, besides the bad acting and abysmal attempts at comedy, is the fact that it actually manages to over run (by about 92 minutes, funnily enough) despite being rather short..
The plot is worthy of being used in a two minute advert for hemorrhoid cream, nothing more. Save yourself some time and a lot of disappointment and avoid this film as if your life depended on it.
Showing in Cineco Seef I and Saar Cineplex
