A letter to new mothers

This is the article I wish I had read when I was a brand new mother. Like most new mothers, I was torn between various emotions.

On the one hand I was elated at having a newborn and amazed by the magic that graced me with this gift from heaven. On the other hand, I was tired, irritable, hormonal and sleep-deprived.

Looking back, I think it's ironic that a new mother can rarely savour the most beautiful stage of the newborn's life due to the physical and emotional changes that her body goes through at that crucial time.

If I could speak to myself at that time, I would say a lot of things that I learned from experience over the past few years and the three kids that I had since. But I can't turn back time, so I'll pour my tips to all new mothers out there, hoping it might help them.

First of all, about breastfeeding. I know a lot of mothers find breastfeeding a challenge, but I have to say that it does get easier with time. The longer you breastfeed, the more you and your baby will get better at it. Also, the use of the breast pump to express milk gets easier with every use, so don't give up after the first time and invest in a good-quality pump.

I know a lot of women who were told at the hospital that their milk supply is not enough to feed their baby. Unfortunately, in most cases, these people are wrong.

In the first three days after delivery, the mother only produces colostrum, which is an almost transparent substance that is full of protein and antibodies that the baby thrives on at that time. During these days, the supply will naturally be low and the baby will take what it needs.

Colostrum is crucial for the baby's immunity and growth. It does not need to be supplemented with formula milk.

At around day four after delivery, the mother's milk comes in and its consistency changes to resemble regular milk. Quantities usually increase as well at that time, so don't panic. It helps if you use natural oils such as sesame oil to prevent the nipples from cracking.

Remember that it's natural for babies to sleep a lot during the first 24 hours after being born. I made the mistake of waking my baby up and forcing him to feed while all he wanted to do was sleep after the long journey of labour. Eventually, all babies wake up to feed.

The longer you breastfeed your baby, the better for both of you. You get to shrink your uterus faster and lose weight, and the baby gets immunity and precious nutrients.

The way I see it is that every breastfeed is one less visit to the doctor. Breastfeeding also helps the baby improve his jaw muscles and ear canal and tune his cranial bones in the process.

My second tip is about the hormonal, irritable mother. The woman's hormones go through a rollercoaster ride from conception. Many people know that, but very few understand what that really feels like.

When your hormones are shooting in all directions, you might feel like laughing and crying at the same time. You might feel more irritated at things that didn't bother you in the past. Or, you might feel very lonely and misunderstood.

Add that to a good dose of sleepless nights and you have a time-bomb on your hands.

The stronger the hormonal changes, the more likely you are to stop breastfeeding, to alienate family and friends, to feel depressed, and worst of all, to not enjoy this precious stage in your child's life.

What many women don't know is that you can ease the effects of the hormonal changes by improving diet and lifestyle.

If you want to ease the hormonal pressure on your system, you must reduce the hormones coming in from your diet. Hormones are mostly found in milk and dairy products, eggs and meats. A lot of people will tell you to drink milk in order to produce milk, but have you ever seen a cow drink milk to lactate?

The less hormones you have coming in from animal products, the easier time you'll have during your transition. And, you can get all the nutrients you need from beans, pulses, whole grains, nuts, seeds, vegetables, salads and fruits.

Sugar also messes up hormones, so don't think you can get away with that. When you take sugar out of your diet, you'll find a happier, calmer, prettier version of yourself staring back at you in the mirror. That same image will be seen and experienced by your baby.

And, the last tip is about the baby's sleep pattern. Why do mothers believe that the baby comes knowing exactly what it wants? I used to believe that feeding on demand was the thing to do because I thought babies knew exactly what they needed. Many hard months later, I realised that the baby doesn't know what it's doing any more than I did.

Babies love routine. And, they need you to help them get into one. I can attest to the difference that routine had on my life and my children's lives.

From experience, I found the Gina Ford system to be heaven-sent. You might find others that work better for you. Either way, you have to find a routine and put your baby on it as soon as possible.

Babies who are put on a routine are calmer and happier. They sleep better, feed better and have longer sleep times with more constructive wakeful hours, instead of frustration and crying. The mother also gets a more predictable daily routine, better sleep and more milk supply!

If you have a newborn, don't make the mistake I did of waiting for the baby's sleeping and feeding patterns to improve; take an active role in helping your baby find a rhythm.

I've learned that putting yourself to sleep is a life skill that many of us don't learn until much later in life. Trust me, teach it to your child today and you'll all be much happier!

Look out for my upcoming book I Want A Healthy Pregnany, coming out soon.

Tune in to Alia Almoayed's weekly live internet radio show entitled: DARE TO BE HEALTHY. This show airs live every Monday night. Go to www.AliaAlmoayedRadio.com