MASTER TRUE GRIT

FUN-LOVING schoolboy Shayaan Qureshi is an inspiration to his classmates with his never-say-never attitude despite being born without arms.

The five-year-old writes, cycles, swims, uses the computer, climbs all over his bunk bed, loves nothing better than wrestling with his big brother and dreams of one day becoming an F1 Grand Prix driver.

Shayaan, a student in the reception year at the British School of Bahrain, said: “I don’t have hands but I can do just about everything except cut paper with scissors … yet!”

He was born in Islamabad, Pakistan, and now lives with his family in Mahooz and has astonished everyone who has met him with his positive personality, independence and charm.

His parents Omer, 41, who works for Gulf Petrochemical Industries Company (GPIC), and Fadia also have an older child, Sheheryar, 12. They admit they were initially shaken and devastated by Shayaan’s disability, as were hospital doctors and maternity staff. They were understandably traumatised and took almost a year to recover, at one stage keeping his arms covered and pretending that everything was fine with their baby.

Fadia, 40, said she broke down in tears every time she worried about his future. Shayaan was born with little stumps instead of arms and hands and it is not known why.

She said: “I would cry thinking how would he crawl? The next thought was who would marry him? In our society we are always looking for the perfect match, whether it is a boy or a girl.”

But nothing could stop little Shayaan from tackling every obstacle placed in his way with a smile and unstinting determination. “As a baby he started doing all the things I thought might prove impossible for him to accomplish – how wrong I was,” said Fadia. “Instead of crawling, he started scooting on his bottom. He started using his toes just like we use our hands ... it came naturally to him.
 
“When it was time for him to walk, it took a little longer because it was difficult to balance without hands. But he was determined to do it on his own – in fact he never appreciated help.

“One day he was crying, trying to stand up on his own in the middle of the carpet. I watched him use his tummy muscles as he pushed himself up. And, I still remember the big smile on his face as he stood up on his own.”
Shayaan’s mother Fadia continued: “Today he runs like lightning! I take delight in every small thing he achieves. It is his resolve that has helped him do everything.”

Omer added: “We love our sons equally and are proud of both of them.”

However, there were challenges for Shayaan and his family. Although always encouraging him  to be independent, they had no idea how to teach him to complete daily tasks unaided such as eating and drinking, keeping clean, brushing his teeth, or putting his clothes on.

Help came online through a UK support group called Reach who introduced the family to Frank Letch, a local politician and mayor of Crediton, a town and civil parish in the English county of Devon, who has a condition similar to Shayaan’s.
Nowadays Frank, 67, is a local celebrity who even has an animated character based on how he leads his life – such as cutting vegetables with his feet and avoiding traffic – on the website www.motiondisabled.com

He drives to work, has been voted in as a councillor by his local community and was recently elected mayor for a fifth term, is a tribunal judge, father-of-five and also a granddad.

“I would write my heart out to him and ask him about everything that crossed my mind,” said Fadia. “Once I even asked him whether he wished he had hands? He replied: ‘No, because if I had hands I would be an ordinary person, leading an ordinary life. And, nobody would know me’.

“After finding Frank and realising that he has led a full life has given me a lot of peace. I know that there are more people like Shayaan in the world and there is no need for me to worry.”

With the support of Frank, who has visited the family twice in Bahrain, Shayaan has learned to dress by pulling up his pants with a stick, eat with a spoon tied to one of his stumps and even swim.

Frank says he has enjoyed every minute working with the family and befriending Shayaan. He told GulfWeekly: “I got to know Shayaan and his family through the internet and Skype over a period of four or more years. Once the family got over the initial shock they quickly moved forward with a positive attitude.

“Shayaan is very intelligent and has such an engaging personality. He is easily accepted by those around him as a very competent young boy. He is ‘differently abled’ and can do most things … but in his own way.

“His wonderful family have accepted this and encourage him to face the outside world with determination and a smile. Having met me twice they can see that Shayaan, like me, can have an exceptionally exciting, fulfilling and happy life.

“For any parents who have a child who is different for whatever reason I say – have faith, stay positive and aim HIGH!”

Shayaan is a popular member of his reception class of 24 pupils. Julie Anne Gilbert, head of the infant section, said: “At school Shayaan is simply exploring different ways of learning, just as all the other children in Reception are. He has joined the class with the minimum of fuss. Whilst coping very well indeed with the curriculum, Shayaan has been an asset to his class in that his presence has encouraged the children to be non-judgmental, inclusive and considerate.”

When Shayaan invited Frank to see his school, his classmates celebrated the visit by making a series of ceramic tiles coloured with footprint art which is now on display in the infant’s school building.

Shayaan has inspired his mother to start a Special Families Support Group (SFS group) in Bahrain to bring together families of children of different abilities, to show they are not alone in the world.

Fadia said: “It is not the children’s fault that they are the way they are and there is nothing to be ashamed of. They are part of our society. We should not pity them but help them integrate.

“People often stare when they are curious but I have taught Shayaan to smile back and answer any questions they have.

“He once asked me why he was born without arms and that question made me choke. I told him that God must have thought that he didn’t need arms because he could do most things with his feet. And, he may also do something special with his life when he grows up.”

*SFS Bahrain organises meetings and get-togethers. It has a page on social networking site Facebook and can be contacted on sfsbahrain@hotmail.com