Time of the month

In today’s highly-stressed world it’s hard to keep sane, let alone healthy. Our new columnist helps you deal with what life throws in your path.

Menstruation is the topic that I am going to deal with this week ... but are we comfortable talking about it? We talk about women’s liberation and feminine power but when it comes to talking about menstruation we women find ourselves using different words to express that ‘I am bleeding’. Is it not true?

Judy Grahn a poet, writer and social theorist, has said that ‘menstruation is the flower of a woman, the bloom of her potential’. I personally liked this expression since menarche (first blood) is the time when a girl is flowering into womanhood. Almost all of us remember how we got introduced to it and what was our feeling when we first bled, what happened and who was around us.

This experience can affect a female for years to come, influencing identity and the relationship with her self. The first experience has a lot to do psychologically with how women feel about their periods and sexuality. This is the time when they grow more independent, this is the time for some of the females to develop love-hate relationship with their mothers.

Mothers play an important role in introducing menstruation and it is very important how she does it and also what her own relation has been with her bleeding - physically and psychologically. Unfortunately, for many societies and cultures, it is a negative, confusing and scary learning experience.

Some societies celebrate menarche, like inviting female relatives and neighbours and perform some rituals with the girl who is entering into womanhood. I have talked to those girls and found that it has lost the ancient feel of celebration and become more of a warning, which most of the time makes them feel embarrassed about bleeding.
 
I get lots of cases of adolescents with behaviour problems and during investigation find that it has much to do with their experience during puberty. Likewise PMS (pre-menstruation syndrome/ stress/ tension) has a relation with experience with menarche and that initial cycle.

What is PMS? It is different for every woman. Before menstruation feeling tenderness in the breasts, water retention, cramps, pain in lower abdomen and back, headaches, depression, anxiety, etc. Some studies say that it is hormonal; some say it has nothing to do with hormones; it is because of a drop in calcium and magnesium. Almost all women feel some significant changes in the body a week before bleeding. For some it is acute and in others it’s bearable.

Menstruation pain is physiological, psychological and emotional. A lot depends on how you deal with this pain. Psychologists have reported that when women changed their perception and attitude towards menstruation their PMS disappeared significantly. Menstruation is a normal and natural process and a time to reflect on oneself and discard what is not needed and useful, physiological, psychological and emotional.

Make it a time to release what is negative and toxic. Make your own diet plan, take some time off from your daily routine and use your creativity to utilise this time. Do not forget to relax and reflect.

To make menarche a beautiful experience for young females, they should be presented with a positive, natural and beautiful picture of it. There should be a separate session for girls who are ready to blossom into womanhood, maybe at school or in a self-help group, and they should be given all the information related to it and informed that it is a healthy and natural process of their lives. There is nothing to hide and feel shameful about. They should be encouraged to talk about it and discuss it.

When young girls receive positive information they grow into healthy adults who do not become anxious in stressful situations and are better able to use the time to get deeply connected with their own emotions.

Dr Puja Taneja Malhotra,
Ph.D. Psychology,
Psychological Consultant, Trainer & Coach.