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BAHRAINI singer May Alqasim is using her personal struggle with eating disorders as inspiration to help others suffering with the affliction.
The 22-year-old songwriter, pianist and Business Administration student, from Riffa, hopes that by sharing the story of her harrowing battle, it will highlight eating disorders across the kingdom and encourage others to speak up and seek help.
May said: “I need to emphasise that an eating disorder is not something to be taken lightly. It is a life or death situation and can happen to the best of us. There is no shame.
“It’s an illness. Speak out because every minute is important and every minute you don’t ask for help can take your life away. When you cannot control anything in your life, the only thing you have control over is what goes in and out of your body and that is fundamentally why it manifests into an eating disorder.”
May started telling her story in passing until various event organisers asked her to join their inspirational speaking seminars to spread her message. She now speaks about it through interviews related to her music and has used music as a tool to raise awareness.
“Obviously, I am not certified to actually fix anyone but I know all the means they could uptake to help. I wish I had someone to help me find the right path,” she said.
Eating disorders frequently coexist with other mental illnesses such as depression, substance abuse or anxiety disorders.
When manifested at a young age, it can cause severe impairment in growth, development, fertility and overall mental and social wellbeing. People with anorexia nervosa are 18 times more likely to die early compared with people of similar age.
At the age of 20, May was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, which involves immoderate food restriction and irrational fear of gaining weight, as well as a distorted body self-perception.
She then struggled with bulimia nervosa, eating too much, known as binging, and then purging it all out.
May said: “It all started without me even realising it. I was overweight and carefree throughout my childhood and early teen years. When I joined the music industry I thought that image needed to be a factor so I started losing weight and eventually obsessing over calories and fitness.
“I knew that I wasn’t happy with my life. It didn’t take long to realise that I was hiding from past unresolved issues and behind my routine of gym, university, studio and vocal classes.”
It wasn’t until she had a nasty fall at 19 and was bed-ridden that the issues began to surface.
She said: “I was casually walking down the stairs and slipped, breaking my tailbone in two places. The doctors claimed that they had never seen anything quite like it and that it was extremely rare.
“I was forced to stay in bed. That is when the demons surfaced. Memories that were repressed were coming back to me. Eventually, I slipped into a manic-depressive state and wouldn’t come out of my room, eat, sleep or even talk to anyone.”
May was physically abused by her maid between the ages of five and nine. She was mentally and physically drained and too scared to tell anyone.
She said: “She punched me in the nose one morning because I missed a spot on a dish that still had a tiny bit of residue. I went to school with a bloody nose, which turned out to be broken.
“That was when my parents started asking questions. It wasn’t until she went on holiday that I felt safe to speak up.
“I kept asking myself: ‘why don’t I speak up? Why was I afraid?’ The vicious cycle started between tackling the cause and dealing with the symptoms on my own. I hid it very well.”
As her eating disorder got worse, May started to lose her memory and couldn’t focus. She even started to forget her own lyrics to songs that she had been singing for years. Her voice got weaker and she was drained all the time.
Her family noticed the changes and eventually she did ask for help. At that point, her weight had dropped down from 59kg to 32kg.
May said: “Being on stage and being so vulnerable made me that much more insecure. I’d come home hating myself and sometimes in tears. I couldn’t get out and it was so tough balancing my studies, my career, my social life and my family all at once.
“I was getting sick and tired of being sick and tired. The doctors, whom I had seen, put me on heavy medication and it just made the situation worse.”
May’s brittle nails, hair loss and dry skin were the least of her concerns. She started to have seizures, muscle spasms and heart palpitations.
When the treatment wasn’t working, her family urged her to visit London. She continued to deny her situation and tried to convince everyone else that she was recovering. Her family and friends even tried to intervene.
May said: “I knew I had to be honest. After I returned from London, I told everybody the truth with the help of my doctor, Sara Shammas.
“Speaking out is important. Support is needed.”
May’s story spread across the island and others began to come forward. She said: “Once I told my story and tried to raise awareness, the number of messages, calls and emails came through in mass amounts from parents and siblings of girls who have eating disorders. This also happens with males too but just a smaller number.
“Don’t be ashamed of it. Please get help if you have it and make sure you stay clear of obsessing with weight and calories and the ‘perfect’ figure.
“Just maintain a healthy lifestyle and be happy. You only have one shot at life, don’t just stay alive – live it. There’s a difference.”
May’s latest single, You Gotta See Me Now, chronicles her struggle and she is now back in the studio working on a new album. A music video will also shortly follow.
Follow May Alqasim on Instagram @mayalqasim.
