Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
GulfWeekly’s Agony Aunt Kelly Armatage wants to help YOU cope with the stresses and strains of life. The acclaimed counsellor and coach is known globally for her ‘A Serenity Kit’ invention (www.aserenitykit.com) which has become an essential tool to help people cope with stress and change their negative habits.
Kelly, a sought-after motivational speaker who also offers advice on family matters, is the CEO of her own therapy and coaching company based in Mahooz. She has been helping thousands of people in the kingdom since 2007 and every Wednesday, she will answer questions posed by clients and GulfWeekly readers whose identities will be respected.
A problem shared is a problem halved. Write to her at info@kellyarmatage.com
Question: Hi Kelly, I wonder if you can guide me in the right direction. I am dealing with social anxiety. Social events create such nervousness within me. I feel others are always judging me. Whenever a social event comes up, I immediately want to cancel, because of the fears I have before, during and after any event. What can I do to remove this? I would like to be able to attend such events comfortably.
Answer: Thank you for writing in. Firstly, social anxiety is a common issue that many have to deal with. Facing such anxiety head-on with the following tips, will help you kick this issue quickly:
1. The first step is to get into a compassionate mindset. Anxiety in social situations is just an emotional state that you have practised over a period time and it has now become a habit. Habits can be broken and change occurs from a place of forgiveness, peace and compassion. Look at this ‘issue’ as a goal for self-growth and change. A goal you will achieve!
2. From a place of motivation, it is important to look at new thoughts, emotions and habits in social situations. Are people really judging you, or is it you judging yourself with thoughts such as ‘I am nervous’, ‘I am not interesting’, ‘I am not good enough’?
Learn to identify the thoughts that are holding you back and turn them into the opposite, for example, ‘I am interesting’, ‘I can be confident’ and ‘I can do this’. Mantra these thoughts before, during and after any social event and these will increase your confidence immediately.
3. Find the courage to attend social events and practice the tips above. Know that people are interested in you and would love to connect with you, if you allow them to. Find a way to enjoy social activities, by focusing on the event, as opposed to others or what you are feeling. Do a confidence meditation (via my site) or see those on YouTube. Meditate before you attend any social gatherings and as often as you can, so that your self-confidence increases.
