Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Children, from the earliest age, can generally be intolerant at some level. Toddlers are intolerant of other children trying to share their toys, U10s are often intolerant of siblings and teenagers are generally intolerant of everything that their parents do!
All of these levels of intolerance are acceptable norms of childhood and can easily be negated through open communication and exercising of good behaviour management from parents and teachers.
But, when intolerance starts to take a more sinister turn, through bullying or extreme behaviour, for example, it is time to intervene in a more direct manner that demonstrates early on that such behaviour is unacceptable and, more importantly, why.
Children are smart, and once they know which buttons to push with you that will get a reaction, they will push them at will to exercise some level of control.
Your job in situations where unacceptable intolerance is shown is to stay calm and discuss frankly why what has been said is wrong and how it can be hurtful.
Simply stating: ‘don’t say that!’ opens up a mine of questions for a child.
They will wonder why they shouldn’t say it, it’s only a word, isn’t it?
Jumping too quickly on mistakes without explanation only creates confusion and in some cases can worsen behaviour but explaining the reason why you are unhappy opens up a dialogue that ultimately teaches tolerance.
It makes your child wiser as they have learned from their mistakes and can go on to make better judgements in the future based on their experiences and your guidance.
