Education matters

It’s not uncommon for me to come in from work to find a new kitten, puppy, rabbit or bird taking up residence in our house; not because we have any particular desire to open a petting zoo but because my wife and youngest son can’t stand the thought of animals suffering or being left to fend for themselves. 

We don’t keep them, my wife and son go out of their way to find homes for them and one good thing that comes out of it, is that my son has learned responsibility.

Teaching children responsibly can be very difficult to do given the general sense of entitlement that all children have naturally, but starting early will help as you head toward the teenage years when just the thought of helping around the house brings on all manner of hormone-laden joys.

A good place to start is with simple chores. Child-friendly chores include vacuuming, taking out the rubbish, walking the dog or loading the dishwasher and whilst this might seem like an impossible task, the more consistent you are with your expectations, the more likely your children will be to help out.

In schools, it’s not uncommon for teachers to choose monitors to help tidy up the classroom or give out letters and becoming a monitor is often much sought-after job. The reason for this is the sense of responsibility the position offers and also it appeals to another childhood facet, the love of being rewarded. 

In the case of the school monitor, the reward itself can often just be the sense of being relied on to do something or in some cases just being noticed at all but be it at school or at home, success in these matters relies on teaching children how to do the task well, praising them when they do so and being patient.

If chores aren’t going to work with your offspring, try encouraging your child to take responsibility for something that directly affects them such as packing their lunch for school or choosing the times for themselves when they clean their room.

The key word here is choice. This form of everyday psychology can be very useful, by giving children a sense of control over the tasks you want them to do, they will be more likely to do it and once the pattern of helping has been started, it’s easier to encourage children to help with other things around the house.

A sneaky way to appeal to a child’s need for control is to ask them to decide whether they would rather take out the bins or empty the dishwasher. By doing this you are giving the illusion of control and getting chores done at the same time.

Finally, once a chore has been completed, don’t forget to say ‘thank you’ and the younger the child, the more the praise that should be given, so that your child associates helping out with the reward of praise and attention from you from an early age.