Smelly stew of confusion

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been talking readers through the often bewildering process of applying for a place in one of the many private schools on the island.

Assuming that you’ve managed to secure a place for September in your school of choice, you will now need to consider the process of transition to be sure that your child settles in quickly and starts learning well in the new environment.

Change is something that doesn’t always come easy for children as they thrive on regular routines and that’s exactly what schools offer, clear routines that children find easy to follow. 

Once pupils know what is expected of them, however, they grow in confidence within the safety of the parameters set by the school through its policies and practices. So when children are put into a new environment where they don’t know the parameters it can be very unsettling for them and lead to stress and anxiety.

One of the reasons smaller children cry in the morning and don’t want to leave their mother’s side at the school gates is a fear of the unknown. 

The big scary building is full of other children of all ages. To some children, something new equals something bad.  

One way that parents can overcome this fear of the unknown is by making the unknown, known. 

Giving the child experience of the new school by visiting it frequently during the holidays before the new term starts, or taking advantage of a school tour, helps children to get to know their new environment a little and when it comes to transitioning between schools, a little knowledge can go a long way.

The same can also be said for the transition from primary school to high school although because children already have experience of school at this age, it can be a little more daunting since where students leaving primary were once the big fish in a small pond so to speak, they now are very much the small fish in a new much bigger pond, filled by very, very big and scary fish.

Larger class sizes, subject teachers rather than class teachers, and the need for greater organisational skills all add to the anxiety that children can experience when moving to senior school. Couple these things with the onset of puberty and it is a cauldron of anxiety all bubbling away in a sort smelly stew of confusion. 

It is how we as adults, however, enable our children to cope with change that equips them to deal with it themselves adequately in the future. 

Remaining calm, positive and supportive at all times will help children by showing them that you will always have a shoulder for them to lean on should they need it. Openly discussing changes will also create an open environment from which all problems can be resolved.

Experiencing change is a part of life that we all go through and, if it is managed well, it will help children to cope with it more freely as they grow into adults and head off into the biggest pond of all, the adult world.