So far, so average

There’s no British folk tale more memorable than that of King Arthur, and no medieval anecdote better ingrained in the lore and culture of that era. As such, it has been interpreted in film, books and other media countless times over the years, and King Arthur: Legend of the Sword is Hollywood’s latest stab at the classic tale of knighthood and destiny.

This time, it is helmed by director Guy Ritchie, best known for the Robert Downey Jr Sherlock Holmes films and the crime comedies Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

While the origins of Arthur and the story of the sword in the stone have been done to death, Ritchie tries hard to find enough meat on those bones to make a unique movie and imprint his own take on the tale. He’s unfortunately not entirely successful, and the film’s greatest crime is that it too often forgets the old adage of ‘show, don’t tell.’ Couple that with Ritchie’s annoying style, and you’ve got a pretty awful film.

Telescopic crash-zooms, freeze frames, supporting geezers named Kung Fu Georgie, Mike the Spike and Goosefat Bill … if there was still any doubt that this is Guy Ritchie’s fast, loose take on the King Arthur legend, then having the natural-born monarch address a female warrior as ‘honey chest’ makes it clear.

The film opens with Mordred’s (Rob Knighton) army marching on Camelot, the ground shuddering under the stomps of elephants so enormous they could gobble the ones in The Lord of the Rings like peanuts. The digital-effect laden prologue doesn’t leave much of an imprint, but merely acts as a way of moving the pieces into place: the king, Uther Pendragon (Eric Bana), is struck down, and his brother, Vortigern (Jude Law), embarks upon a reign of fear.

He faces one major obstacle, Pendragon’s baby son, the rightful king, has been sneaked to safety; and a montage shows him growing up on the mean streets of Londinium. But not long after he’s filled out, beautifully, into Charlie Hunnam, he’s ordered to take his turn at trying to free the mighty sword Excalibur from a boulder. The rest, as they say, is history …

So far, so average, but Ritchie takes what could have been something decent and ruins it by trying to turn it into a medieval ‘street’ version of Snatch. This tonal misfire is emphasised by its characters cut down by a blitzkrieg of whip pans, CGI and thunderous percussion. And, with Ritchie again rummaging in his increasingly threadbare bag of tricks, the result is a movie more jaundiced than jaunty.

There’s a thin line between visionary and messy, and it’s a line that King Arthur crosses and re-crosses with an abandon that rivals Hunnam’s accent sliding from Cockney to Californian and back again.

There’s no heart to the film either. We’re denied the emotional experience of Arthur’s teenage trials, which would’ve been great to see instead of having it explained to us via dreadful dialogue. Any hint of emotion is quickly eschewed in favour of yet another flash of action, dotted with the occasional slow-motion kill shot. Picture a two-hour film with the pacing of a modern action movie trailer, and you have a snapshot of how exhausting this movie becomes.

It’s a shame, as there are some moments of real style and entertaining set pieces, but they are quickly washed away by CGI excesses and the pitfall of being overplayed to death.

The plan is to make a total of six King Arthur movies, with Warner Bros hoping for a fantasy epic to rival Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones et al.

This is a wobbly start, suggesting there needs to be plenty of meetings a‘round’ tables to ensure a second instalment is forged stronger and sharper.

l Showing in: Novo, Cineco, Seef II, Wadi Al Sail and Saar.