Dear Betsy, My husband is always too tired to be in a romantic mood. I have tried all the usual womanly ways, but to no avail. My friend says that aroma oils can help but there are so many of them. Can you recommend the best ones? My parents are fed up waiting for grandchildren. LBD
Dear LBD, Your friend is right, there are some essential oils that can help us relax, unwind and ‘get in the mood’. It is said this is how Cleopatra seduced Mark Anthony so effectively, so when in Rome etc. However, not all oils appeal to all people in the same way so a bit of experimenting with your husband’s olfactory preferences are in order. If he really hates a specific fragrance such as jasmine, then it will have a negative effect – so try some fragrant detective work first. These days with the fast pace of modern life and the 24/7 mentality, especially when it comes to work and communications – SMS, emails, Blackberries etc it can be difficult to completely switch off and relax as we can feel hounded by this age of instant communication. Take no chances, confiscate his mobile and unplug the PC for the night. Perhaps your husband needs to feel your house is a haven of peace and tranquility that he can escape to when he comes home, so set the scene. It is important to tantalise and arouse all five of his senses. Make sure the house is neat and tidy and not too hot or cold. Prepare his favourite food, but nothing too heavy, finger food is best. Give him a drink (but not the whole bottle) play some soft background music, light some candles, run him a warm, (not hot) scented bath (save water, bath together) and follow this by giving each other a massage with some aromatherapy oils as this sensuous exchange of energies is very potent. All five senses have been involved in this ritual, thus maximising your chances of success. You can buy pre-blended massage oils or you can mix up your own. The most popular aphrodisiac oils are rose, jasmine, sandalwood and ylang ylang, which I call ‘nature’s Viagra’. You can mix up to 20 drops of pure essential oils of your choice with three tablespoons (45ml) of sweet almond oil. Try just one of the essential oils, such as ylang ylang or try my special blend. Mix five drops of ylang ylang with three drops of sandalwood, and five drops each of rose and jasmine. Caution! This is pretty powerful stuff and the Editor has asked me to make it clear that the GulfWeekly cannot be held responsible for the consequences etc, etc, blah, blah, blah, (jealous?) Besty’s Note: A word of advice, if it looks like he’s becoming addicted to this romantic pampering and his demands are unceasing and you’re just too exhausted for words then it’s time to unleash the power of marjoram. This is nature’s most powerful anaphrodisiac, (the opposite of an aphrodisiac) and every intelligent woman should have both ylang and marjoram in her armoury. If none of this works, then he really doesn’t deserve such a loving, caring wife and it might be time to update your entry in Friends Reunited. Alternatively, get a pet rock, you will probably get a better response from it. Manazel in Isa Town have jars full of them AND you get bonus points too. What more could a girl want?