TRAFFIC SNARLS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY

Dear Betsy, I just can’t take the stress of driving anymore. I used to love driving around during my daily tasks but now it has turned into my biggest nightmare. The crazy roadworks are bad enough but with angry, impatient, rude, pushy, careless, inconsiderate drivers on the roads it has magnified things for me a thousand fold.

I dread having to take the kids to school and do my supermarket visits, banking and return to school to pick them up then home and out again to drive them to swimming, dance classes and birthday parties. 

I am short tempered and never seem able to relax when I am at home as I am worried about the next stressful journey which is never far away. 

Betsy, what can I do to lessen the stress?

Juliana Gomez, Saar,

Dear Juliana,

I was away for a few weeks this summer and really noticed the increase in road congestion when I returned.

I learned to drive in Bahrain when I arrived here in late 1980 and it was an absolute pleasure to drive in those days. 

Other drivers were courteous and considerate and the roads were never really congested and I could drive from Manama to Zallaq in a pleasurable 25 minutes. Last week, the same journey took me over an hour. 

I agree with you and I am sure many of our readers will too, that driving around the kingdom has now become a nightmare.

With such an increase in roadworks and a heavier traffic load we are all destined to be stuck in traffic jams as we go about our daily lives.

Refuse to be a part of this craziness and arm yourself against extra stress by preparing for your journey.

I know it’s not easy but try to leave a little earlier, this takes ‘time pressure’ off your shoulders.

Next make sure you have your favourite chill out music in the car, or if you have passengers and don’t want to disturb them then use your iPod and earphones (use a low level volume so that you can still hear external noises for safety reasons).

Make sure your car is well aired by using air-conditioning and/or opening the windows, but keep windows firmly closed when you are stuck in a traffic jam to avoid the toxic fumes from all those idling engines.

Chemical air-fresheners in cars are not healthy in my opinion, so if you have one, throw it away. Instead use some pure essential oils that will keep you calm, alert, clearheaded and relaxed. 

The best ones to use are lemon, peppermint, bergamot, basil, rosemary, grapefruit and if you are pre-menstrual (men don’t know how lucky they are) then try some geranium too. Put a few drops on a strip of tissue and tuck it into the air-conditioning vent.

If you really feel anxious or panicky then put a drop of pure frankinsence oil on a tissue and inhale deeply and slowly and this acts like a miracle cure.

Keeping yourself, and your passengers, well hydrated is also important as our sweat glands work overtime when we are stressed causing us to lose more fluids than normal.

Keeping some water or fruit juices in the car, perhaps in a cool box if you are going to be out and about for a while, is a sensible idea. Obviously during the holy month of Ramadan, this is not such a practical option. I find chewing sugar free gum helps me to work off some of the tension that I get building up in my jaw as I seethe on the Sitra Bridge for 45 minutes at a time!

 You can also try some simple relaxation exercises when you are safely stopped for a while.

Clasp you hands together and stretch them up above your head with the palms of your hands facing upward and stretching up as far as you can, hold for a minute then release. Now clasp your hands in front of your chest with your palms facing away from you, push forward with straight arms and hold for a minute, then release. 

Next clasp your hands behind your head and push your elbows back to open up your shoulders and relax your neck. 

 If like me, you get jaw tension then this is my favourite exercise, but don’t do this one when you are looking at another driver ... Betsy’s Jaw Relaxer … begin by opening your mouth as wide as possible, dropping your lower jaw and sticking your tongue out as far and as hard as possible. 

Hold this position (I know it is going to be tempting to turn and face that inconsiderate, rude, pushy driver on your right when doing this but you are stronger than that!) relax and repeat again.

This works for me every time and I haven’t been arrested once!

You can also try singing out loud and pretend you are Whitney Houston. 

This can do wonders for your stress levels but depending on your musical talents, it can have the opposite effect on others, so it is best to try this option only when you are alone in the car. 

If you are with the kids then get them to join you in singing along to a children’s song.  

Try to minimise your journeys especially during peak traffic times and ask your husband to do some of the tasks such as banking or supermarket shopping. Here in Bahrain we are lucky that many companies such as cold stores and laundries will actually deliver to your residence, so why not try this wherever possible.

I have a friend who decided that the only answer to her driving stress was to get a driver to take her wherever she needed to go. 

Unfortunately she found this MUCH more stressful ! Wonder why? Anyway, Juliana, just remember that you are not alone out there. We are all with you and maybe you should try my ARK philosophy ... Kindness Is Contagious, so let someone pull in front of you with an elegant wave of your hand, a big, big smile and maybe they will pass it on and this courtesy will eventually come back to you.

Let’s all try it this week, and see who cracks first! I will be checking out all traffic jams this week to try to identify GulfWeekly readers as they will be the ones doing Betsy’s Jaw Relaxer!

Dear Betsy,

I was very interested in Betty’s recent letter about pigmentation and your reply to her.

I have the same problem and feel very depressed about going public. Can you please give me some advice on how I can try to make these horrible marks better at home and what professional treatments will really work?

Ratna

Dear Ratna,

Treating existing pigmentation can be approached in several ways; home care, salon treatment and medical treatment.

Home care can mean using natural kitchen ingredients such as oatmeal and ground almonds to exfoliate the skin, lemon juice to bleach the pigmentation – but they will have limited and temporary effects. Home care using commercial skin products specifically designed for ‘skin bleaching’ are very popular in the Middle East and Asia, but many of them can be potentially bad for your skin.

 Avoid products containing an ingredient called ‘hydroquinone’, which claims to bleach the skin, as it potentially has many side-effects and has been banned by most European countries.

One of the most common effects of some bleaching creams can be that initially the pigmentation marks fade but then they come back with a vengeance.

There are some good creams that contain natural bleaching agents, so look for creams that contain ingredients such as bearberry, liquorice, arbutin, mulberry leaf extract and hibiscus and make sure you combine them with a mineral, high protection factor sun block.

You will need to use them for up to several weeks for noticeable results.

 Salon treatments (and home use versions of them) such as gentle exfoliating or peeling masks help remove the surface keratinised or dead skin and can have a brightening effect making the pigmentation appear less prominent. You can do this at home once or twice a week depending on your skin type and the manufacturer’s instructions.

Deeper salon treatments such as glycolic acid peels and microdermabrasion can have a more profound effect. But a word of caution here – it can make your pigmentation worse if it is not performed correctly by the therapist as it can provoke the production of more melanin which is the pigment responsible for the colour in our skin, making the pigmentation marks darker.

As a specialised skin therapist, I have achieved some of my best results on hyper-pigmented skin by combining advanced microdermabrasion techniques with oxygen fusion treatments where I used liquid oxygen and mineral concentrates to enhance the results. Contact a salon offering these treatments and book a consultation where the therapist can assess your needs and discuss treatment options.

However, some of us may opt for a medical solution such as laser treatments, IPL (intense pulsed light) trichlorocetic acid peels and other dermatological procedures, medical creams and/or the use of oral drugs.

 It is up to you to weigh up the estimated benefits and possible side effects of certain treatments and having a consultation with a dermatologist is a good place to begin if you opt for the medical approach.

Whatever approach you take it is important to make sure you keep your skin well hydrated as a dehydrated skin will have a limited response to most treatments and may become irritated and sensitised by some of the harsher options.

Even if your skin is oily it can still be dehydrated which means it is lacking in water, not oil. Drinking two litres of water a day and using a hydrating mask once a week and a good quality moisturiser to suit your skin type will help to maximise your treatment results.