Own up to your unjust behaviour

MY friend has been lying in a hospital for almost two weeks now and we still don't have any positive news to report.

She's lying there because some young punk drove into her as she was walking to her car. He hit Mariam, pictured below, and then kept on going - didn't slow down, didn't hesitate, didn't even call for help as he ran like the coward he is.

And when the police caught up with him (thanks to the fast thinking of a witness who managed to take a picture of the car on his camera phone) he denied any knowledge of what happened.

Forensics, however, have proved that he's lying and he's now behind bars awaiting his much deserved fate.

I've always prided myself with my ability to see things from other people's perspective but I have to admit I'm a little stumped this time.

Sure I can understand (while maintaining disgust) that he got scared, panicked and in the heat of the moment kept on going.

But panic eventually calms down, reason comes into being and if nothing else, guilt should have kicked in to make him admit what he'd done ... How can anyone with half a conscience live with responsibility of the hurt and damage they've caused without at least trying to assuage the guilt in some way?

Responsibilities don't get much bigger than another person's life in your hands and if he, or someone he cared about, were unfortunate enough to have something like that happen to them, I have no doubt they would share in the world's disgust that the person responsible was too cowardly to stop and help, or at the very least call it in so that emergency services could get to the victim as soon as possible.

This in itself is an extreme example but it got me to thinking about how hard it is for some people to own up to what they've done.

Just like anyone else out there, if I can get away with something (usually something insignificant) then, of course, I'll try to.

But, I'm a firm believer that when you're caught, you're caught and when you've done something that results in another person getting hurt - emotionally or otherwise - your only decent course of action is to own up to it and take your punishment like a (wo)man.

Nobody's perfect and I'm fully aware that the most horrible things can happen unexpectedly and that even the best laid plans can go awry but what differentiates the honourable from the despicable is what you do when it's all gone wrong.

Whether forgiveness is possible, or not, the only decent thing to do is to own up to what you've done and show the proper amount of contrition. To do anything else is just rubbing salt into an already gaping wound.

Fear of the consequences is natural but as anyone that's ever been wronged can tell you, forgiveness can only come when you know the other person is truly sorry for having hurt you in the first place.

If you can be forgiven when you've hurt another it can go a long way to relieving the guilt that eats away but if whatever you've done makes it impossible for you to be forgiven then all you can do is accept the consequences and try to move forward.

And, as hard as that can be, the only way you can move forward is to learn from your mistake and take the punishment - no matter what it is.

Guilt is one of the ugliest of emotions out there and no matter who you are (Ted Bundy and Jack the Ripper withstanding) and whether you manage to push to the back of your mind for a day or a decade, it will catch up with you and when it does you have nowhere to hide.