Flip through the latest issue of Gulf Weekly.
Criminal!" shouted Jim Carless, the captain of the Australian Desert Ashes team. To the surprise of all present, Jim was not in fact addressing a teammate, but instead pointing out that one of his best batsmen had been bowled by a no ball, writes Trevor Burt.
After a lengthy and strategic mid-wicket conference with Keith Veryard, captain of the England team, Doug Perrins was recalled to the wicket, only to receive, a few balls later, a dismissive finger from umpire Dave Willis that would have overtaken Usain Bolt at full trot.
Umpire Willis's finger had risen earlier in the Aussie innings, to remove Dick Elson, first ball, to provide England opening bowler Nick Bishop with a hattrick chance that was successfully thwarted by Jari Ihalainen.
When, later in the Australian innings, Dan Italia came in to bat, the England team could have been forgiven for believing they were facing a Finnish-Mediterranean eleven, but after enquiries it turned out that all of the Aussie team, save Kiwi Alistair McLean are bona fide Australians, and even McLean was unable to author a victory for them.
On a bright and warm autumn day at the Awali Oval, the 2010 Paul Moran Memorial Desert Ashes were contested in good spirit.
Proceedings began with a minute's silence to remember Awali stalwart, Australian opening bat, correspondent and all-round good human Paul Moran, who was killed during the first few days of the Iraqi conflict.
Veryard won the toss and England began briskly with Paddy Bateson and Nick Wilson both reaching the 20-run mark in only a few overs.
As is traditional in these 'Taverners' fixtures, batsmen retire once having scored at least 20, to return later if possible.
Bill Jefferies' innings glittered all too briefly, while Peter Hunt's steadier 22, Andy Charters's ten from 11 balls and Dave Axtell's explosive 21 from only six balls meant that England were piling on the runs.
Guy Parker's short but handy innings was brought to an end by an extraordinary slip catch that won the Billy Bass Award for 'catch of the day'.
In the second half of England's innings, captain Veryard sportingly hit his own wicket, allowing Peter Fryer and Nick Bishop to endure some indifferent bowling. In the event, wides, no-balls, Test match batting and the kind of running that is associated more with divers in lead boots, Kevin Ross prompted three run-outs in the final over from England's returnees and the total facing Australia for the win was reduced from massive to merely decent, at 211.
In the Aussie reply, Carless and McLean sprinted to 28 off the first two overs. After being dropped and hitting a six in two balls, captain Carless's dismissal to another outstanding catch - by Bill Jefferies - precipitated a series of dismissals with, astonishingly, no Australian reaching the magic mark of 20. McLean came closest, yorked at 19 by Bishop, while others sparkled briefly, only to disappear in a welter of antipodean run outs, stumpings and umpire Willis's pointy finger.
While the Auusies were keeping up with the run rate, they were sorely deficient in the wickets in hand department. Dan and Dean (Italia and Pilmore) did their dandiest to disappoint England, but mere alliteration was never going to sustain the Australian innings.
After Stuart Beechy became the seventh wicket to fall, after missing a straight full toss from Kevin Ross, even bad poetry could not save the Aussies, who finally mustered a brave but insufficient 166, to lose by 44 runs and allow Carless to round things off back in the clubhouse.
The Desert Ashes trophy was old, the wrong shape and dusty. Jim was pleased to hand it to Keith Veryard ... again.
